Falling Too Fast
by NeedForChange22
Summary: Bella Cullen has kept a secret that no one knows about for years and refuses to act on it. Could it tear her family apart? Rated T for language and some moderate sexual scenes. Set 60 years after Breaking Dawn.
1. A Surprise Visit

Hello all - this is the first story I've ever written. That being said, feel free to give criticism since I'm new to this whole thing. I'm also looking for a beta, so if you're interested or know someone who is, please message me.

**Disclaimer**: All things Twilight belong to the infamous Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks,

NeedForChange22

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Isabella Cullen was sitting on the swing of her porch enjoying the late morning sunlight when she heard the gentle padding of feet heading her way approximately half a mile down the beach.

An intruder.

The trespasser was light on their feet, which years of experience told her was the result of either a smaller male or a medium sized female. Her senses were on high alert; from the smells finding their way to her nose she could tell the being was female and friendly to the wolves at that. The heartbeat said it was not one of her own. She knew that slight instep; the light hop in the person's walk. That could only mean one person. Renesmee.

"What is so important that it brought you all the way out here?" She asked her now grown daughter in a curious tone. Could it really be over 60 years since her daughter had made her own way into the world, clawing her way out of her own body?

Yes, yes it had been. And what a short 60 years they were.

"Can't I just be out here to visit my wonderful, endearing mother?" Renesmee said, a playful smile on her beautiful features.

Her daughter was a sight to be seen. At her maturity, Renesmee Carlie was 5'6" with her hair color the same bronze of her father while inheriting its curliness from grandfather Charlie. The eyes, though, were completely her own (before she was turned).

Her fierce personality, however, was the influence of all those who had a hand in raising her. The love of shopping and clothing attire was entirely Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie. She gained her patience and cooking talents from Grandmother Esme and her tolerance and ability to read emotional people from Uncle Jasper. She was musical like her father and enjoyed the hunt of the bear like Uncle Emmett. From Carlisle she learned to love history and its effects on present day as well as the future. Yes, her daughter had grown up with the best of all of them. Though she never could pinpoint what it was of her own personality that her daughter took on.

She had to laugh though.

"I doubt it; it seems like the only times you're ever out here to visit it's because you've had a fight with Jacob or you need some space from everyone."

Bella was on her yearly 'vacation' to Esme Island. It had become a tradition after she and Edward had split up eleven years ago. For one month out of the year she would stay at Esme Island away from her family, alternating each visit which time of the year she went. This year happened to be around the start of second semester, as she was attending college for the 8th time.

Renesmee brought her out of her memories by finally walking up to her (at a human's pace) and hugging her for what felt like seconds, but in reality was most likely minutes. Her daughter's eyes gazed back in a completely serious expression.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I visit all the time!" She couldn't however, keep a straight face while saying it and she grew to have a sheepish grin. "I just don't like to interrupt your time out here unless I'm going crazy."

This put a worry line on Bella's flawless face. "What's the matter?" She said as she patted the bench next to her. "Was it Jacob? Because you know, Ren-"

Her daughter sighed loudly. "I know, I know. You don't care how old we are, if he hurts me you'll kill him with your bare hands."

She smiled. Atta girl. "That's right. Even at 64 years old you're still my daughter and no matter how many times we go through this it will always have the same message across. One claw out of line and the mutt is mine." She added a little growl at the end for dramatic effect.

Renesmee smiled at her mother, for she was the only person (besides herself and their children) that her husband ever allowed to call him any nicknames relating to his wolfish side.

"No actually, I came out here to talk to you about a couple of things. One has been on my mind for the past couple of years and now seems like the right time to talk about it. It's been all I can think about and I was going crazy waiting for you to come home so I could talk to you."

Now she was downright curious. What was her daughter talking about? She'd been thinking about whatever it was for years?

"Okay, now I'm worried. What's wrong? Are you thinking of having another child? You know Jacob would love another to add to your pack as it is and you know your father or I would gladly watch the kids whenever you need us to and your Aunt Alice could surely see if it would be a problem…"

It was at this point in her worried rant that she noticed her daughter's face. She wore an "Are you crazy?!" look over a mask of barely veiled nervousness. Her daughter was never nervous unless it was because she truly was scared of what lie ahead. Were the topics she wanted to discuss so terribly frightful to her that she would be nervous of her own mother's reaction?

"No it's not about that. I told you we decided to wait for another couple of years before even considering another pup anyway. It's about you actually. We, and I mean the family, is getting concerned. Since you and Dad split, you've been kind of… Off."

Ah, so that's what this was about.

"Okay before we start delving into this conversation, can you tell me the other topic you want to discuss with me?"

"Oh, that's just some family stuff I wanted to give you a heads up on so you're not thrown for a loop when you get back home. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jazz are having some problems and it looks like they may even split up for good this time."

This news was troubling to Bella. Her best friend Alice and her partner Jasper had been together twice the time she and Edward had been. While they may have had their disagreements and fights like normal couples, they always stayed together. It was Jasper's ability to read his partner's emotions and Alice's way to read future decisions that had diluted most of the fights.

"That doesn't make sense. They're normally so good together, especially with their abilities. What happened?"

Renesmee looked up at the sky thoughtfully, as if she was contemplating between having blood or a muffin for breakfast.

"It's actually because of those. The most anyone can get out of either of them is that Uncle Jasper felt something in Aunt Alice that he shouldn't have. They're not even speaking to each other and barely to the rest of us. The only reason I know that much is because I heard Aunt Alice muttering across the forest."

Bella raised her eyebrows at that. If it was anyone who were to be on such terms it was Rosalie and Emmett, but those two made up more than they ever fought.

"Wow. Do you think I should come back early and try and talk to them?"

Her daughter shook her head remorsefully. "No, I don't think it would do much good. Besides, this is your time and I'm already invading it. Sorry about that, by the way." The underlying tone in Renesmee's voice told her mother that while she was sorry, she may have felt the intrusion was warranted.

"Okay," Bella said, staring out at the ocean, steeling herself for the future conversation. "What did you want to talk about that relates to me?"

The nervousness crept back into swirling chocolate eyes.

"Okay, like I said I've noticed that it started after you and Dad split up. And remember that what I have to say, I say with the utmost love…"

Bella sighed. "Yes, Renesmee, I get it. You love me and want me to take whatever you say with a grain of salt. Can you just come out with it please?"

From the corner of her eyes she saw a smile form on her features.

"All right, at least you're aware that this isn't going to be easy for either of us."

"Yeah, no kidding…" She muttered under her breath even though she knew her daughter's keen hearing would have picked it up.

Renesmee seemed to ignore the statement as she plowed on, determination laced in her voice.

"Since you and Dad have gone your own ways, I've noticed some… things. You don't spend as much time with the family as you used to. You always spend time on the Reservation with me and the kids. You never hang out with any friends. You haven't even tried to date anyone new. Have you considered maybe exploring the rest of the world? You've been in the States for close to 50 years! It's time you start actually experiencing life instead of just going through the motions."

Bella's eyes closed for a brief moment as she thought up a proper response. How do you tell your daughter that you have been experiencing life, but that it was a lifeless, blurred list of one-night stands? Unconsciously her secrets flooded to the surface of her mind. Gathering up a non-needed breath, she knew now was the time to tell Renesmee at least some of it.

"As you are an adult, I will treat you like one. There are things that you have not been privy to that I have specifically requested be kept from you. And before you ask, yes, your father does know about it all."

She took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and exhaled. The familiar movement of her chest settled her down, enough for her to continue.

"You've been told the reason your Dad and I split up was because we no longer had the connection with each other that we used to have. That is true, but there's a little more to it then that; in the year we spent with the Denali clan, I had come to find myself noticing people other than my husband. Specifically, women. It was something I had never bothered to contemplate because I had found Edward in high school. He was the only one I had ever been with.

"Now that this was happening, this sudden attraction to women, I found myself comparing everything my husband had to that of a woman. Where he was rough, a woman was gentle; where he had edges, a woman had curves. It kept coming, bombarding me so much that it was all I ever thought about and towards the end Edward and I were arguing over what to do about it constantly. He wanted us to go away to Esme island for a while so we could get reacquainted with each other. I wanted to just forget the feelings ever came up and go on with our lives.

"It was such a foolish thought… How something like that could ever be forgotten…" Bella said chuckling. Getting up from her sitting position, she held out her hand to her daughter who grabbed it and heaved herself up as well. Together the two walked toward the surf.

They walked along the beach for a few moments in silence. Her daughter would wait all year, she knew, if that was what it took to get the full story now that she had a taste.

"At his suggestion, Edward and I went to Esme Island for two years. You may remember those years, dear. We hardly came around to visit."

Renesmee nodded. "Yeah, that was a rough time for Jake and I. We worried the entire time you were gone about what was going to happen."

At least Bella could find humor in this. She laughed; a melodious tone so full of joy that Renesmee found it hard to believe they were talking about the darkest time in her mother and father's marriage.

"To be honest your father and I didn't know what was going to happen either. We focused almost entirely on getting to know one another again, and that included in the bedroom. It was… An unpleasant experience. Still, I pushed on for your father because I still loved him and wanted to try. I still do love him. We came back after the end of our two year marriage counseling, as we had come to call it, and things were no better. In the end we decided it was best for everyone involved to go our separate ways."

That was all that she was going to give on that subject. Any more and Bella feared she would say too much without getting enough information on the situation back home. Instead of elaborating on any more, she waited quietly while they walked to give Renesmee time to process all that she had been told.

It took them two full trips around the island before her daughter uttered a word.

"Okay. Let me get all of this straight. You like women."

Simple answers would help make this part quick. "Yes."

"And you told Dad and everyone else to lie to me for 9 years."

A wince. "Yes."

"Are you the reason Dad doesn't visit Jake and I so often? Because you're there so much? Are you the reason my children don't see enough of their grandpa?"

Cringe. "Yes."

Silence reined supreme again for a short time. Then…

_THWACK!_

Bella yelped in surprise and rubbed her now sore arm. "Ow! Jeez, give me some warning next time! I AM your mom, you know."

She was rewarded with a scowl. "You use that excuse every time. We're best friends, which gives me the right to hit you when you do something stupid. Lying to me is stupid."

She sighed. "Whatever you say Ren."

Seeing it was getting dark out, Bella redirected their walking towards the house so she could fix her daughter something to eat.

Once her daughter was situated in the kitchen she began quickly making up some Chicken Caesar Salad and took some blood she had stored from an earlier hunt out of the fridge. She put the salad in front of her daughter, poured some of the blood into a glass and instructed her to eat. "And I don't want to hear anything come out of your mouth about either choice of food."

Without saying a word her daughter quickly ate the salad and drank down the blood. She grabbed the dirty dishes and began cleaning them in the sink.

"So, Mom, is there any woman that's caught your eye?"

She froze in her actions. This was dangerous territory. One wrong step and everything would be ruined. Her thoughts were a whirlwind but she forced herself to speak. "Yes, there's been a few."

Her daughter laughed. "Ooh, a few, huh? What are you, some kind of player?"

She laughed along but her insides were tightening in anxiety. She had to be in control of this conversation. Now. "You could say that."

"How many women have there been? 20? 30?"

This was the easy part; telling the truth. She smiled, the remnants of her laugh still visible on her face. "A little more then that, dear." She finished washing the dirty dishes, put them away and sat across from Renesmee.

Chocolate eyes widened. "More? Like how many more?"

She smirked. "Try adding another 30 onto your second guess."

If possible, Renesmee's eyes got even bigger.

"60?! You've slept with 60 women in the past 10 years?!"

She scoffed. "That's my total for the past 5 years, dear."

She thought her daughter's eyes were going to come out of her head with her last comment. Instead of screaming or doing something equally dramatic, she started laughing hysterically.

This threw Bella for a loop. She expected hysterics, even anger, but not humor.

"What's so funny?" She asked Renesmee who was now clutching at her sides.

"My mother's a whore!" She said between fits.

"Hey! I am not a whore! If you figure it out, that's something like one woman a month!"

Renesmee's laughter had slowed to a chuckle and she was able to now talk normally. "Still, mom. One a month? Wasn't there ever a girl that caught your eye for a longer period of time?"

Without even thinking Bella responded in a cheerless tone. "Yes there was. Once." Realizing she had spoken aloud something she had sworn herself not to reveal, she spoke again. "But we're not talking about it. Ever." She held her daughter's gaze for a moment to show she was serious.

But that didn't stop Renesmee. When she wanted to know something she usually found out. Usually.

"But, Mom, we're best friends. We tell each other everything." Upon looking at her daughter she noticed that she wore a curious expression as if to say, "Why couldn't we talk about this?"

Holding back the anger that was seeping in at herself she responded in an even tone. "I said that's it, Renesmee. It's not up for discussion."

Her daughter shrank back as if she had been slapped. Bella rarely ever talked to her in such a cold tone and when she did, there was a very serious reason for it.

Instead, Renesmee dropped the subject for the moment but took time to file the information in her mind to investigate further when she got home. Now was not the time, with her mother already mad at the broached subject, to try to gather more information.

No, she would wait until she could snoop around some and get to the bottom of this mystery woman her mother obviously was still pining for.


	2. Figuring It Out

Hello all!

Much thanks for the reviews and things!

Thank you to my beta suspenceme for tearing this story apart and making it grammatically correct.

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

-NeedForChange22

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The women stayed in the kitchen talking for a while after their heated conversation. Finally, Bella looked over at the clock at noted the time.

"Well, it's 11 o'clock. What time does your flight leave tomorrow?"

"It's not scheduled to depart until 12:20. I should get to bed anyway though so I don't sleep too late into the morning."

She nodded. "Here, I'll help you get the sheets on the bed in the guest bedroom."

They walked down the hallway, one after the other. They were silent in doing their assigned task. Once the sheets were placed neatly on the bed, Bella started towards the door.

"Mom," Renesmee called out.

Bella turned at the doorway, pausing her stride. "Yeah, Ren?"

"Thanks for telling me the truth. Even though it threw me for a loop, I'm okay with you liking women. I just wanted to let you know that."

If tears were possible, they would have pooled in Bella's immortal eyes. Instead, her throat constricted and she swallowed the emotions. "Thank you," she said quietly, "that means a lot to me. Goodnight, Ren." She turned back to exit and began walking again.

She didn't see the small smile her daughter had on her face. "Night, Mom."

Isabella walked at a human pace out of the house. She slowly extinguished the lights in each room she passed so as to give her daughter a dark, peaceful home to rest in. She, on the other hand, was heading to the beach.

Upon walking outside she slipped her shoes off and began walking along the shallow surf, her mind flooded with thoughts.

How could she be so stupid? The secret she had kept closer to her heart more than anything else had slipped between her lips like shadows hide in the night and she had let it happen. She had let it happen in front of her daughter no less! The only way the situation could be worse was if she had slipped in front of Jasper. Just the idea of her secret being found out by Jasper put a shudder through her body. What he would do to her if he figured it out…

But he and Alice were on the verge of splitting up according to her daughter. She had mentioned that Jasper had felt something from his mate that 'shouldn't have been there.' What could that be? The only possible theory she could come up with was love or intense attraction for another person other than himself…

Alice loved someone else other then Jasper?

That was a thought to ponder. Tired of walking along the water, Bella rid herself of her camisole and shorts to reveal a blue and green bikini. It was time for a swim. She tied her hair into a ponytail, took a deep, though unnecessary, breath and dove into the water.

While breathing wasn't required anymore, it was uncomfortable to go without the motion of inhaling. However, she found shortly after her transformation that the tight feeling in her chest didn't come until over 20 minutes after an intake of breath. That meant a little diving with the marine animals would suffice she still thought through the current situations arising.

She kicked her legs and fought through the currents easily, suddenly finding herself almost half a mile from shore. She noted that the distance from the bottom of the ocean floor and the surface was approximately a quarter mile from her current location. She found some corral at the bottom and grabbed on while she dug herself into the sand at the bottom. Once she was sure she wouldn't float back up, Bella continued on her previous train of thought.

There was a possibility that Alice loved someone other than the man she had been with for over a hundred years. The anger and depression welled up insider her so quickly that she physically shook. It was bad enough the secret object of her desire already had someone, but the idea of her loving someone else, someone other than Jasper who she loved like a brother, was agonizing.

The only thing that had kept her from falling apart since her realization was that she was happy with Jasper; she would never ruin the happiness her brother had with the new love of her life. So she kept herself at a distance from the moment she and Edward stepped back into the U.S. There was only one moment after they got home that she worried she had let it slip.

_They were walking towards the house from the car; Edward on her left a few feet away. Neither had said anything the whole trip back. Before they even reached the stairs, a woman with pixie-like features opened the door to greet them with a warm smile. Bella was awestruck. The sunlight danced over Alice's skin and made it sparkle in the sunset; she had never seen Alice in this way before. Breathtaking._

_She found herself unable to look away from reddened lips and couldn't help entertaining the idea of what it would feel like to kiss those lips. She imagined herself sweeping up Alice in her arms right there and stealing the kiss in front of Edward. "Welcome back, both of you." _

_The voice knocked her out of her fantasy and she thought only too late about Alice's ability to see the future based off of the person's decisions. Afraid to meet her eyes, Bella slipped in the house muttering a 'hello' before darting to the living room to greet the rest of the family. _

She never thought about Alice again after that in such a way for fear of the pixie seeing it in a vision. No, she replaced the thoughts of Alice with the thoughts of women in general. Women could bring her happiness, she told herself, if she found the right one. Her eventual self seclusion from her family, she supposed, was inevitable.

She stayed away from the family most of the time and only made an appearance for longer than a couple of hours during the holidays. She continued on for 11 years after her separation by filling a part of the void in her heart with random women she met. Bars, coffee shops, stores, car dealerships; you name the place and Bella had most likely met a woman there. She kept most of them for a month but there was some variety in their time with her, some only lasted a night while some lasted a couple of months.

It was in those moments of utter bliss and intense pleasure that Bella found some solace in what she was doing. That hiding this huge part of herself from her family and the rest of the world was for the greater good.

It was time for another dose of air. She started digging herself out of the sand and soon swam back to the surface. When her face broke out into open air, she let loose the stagnant air in her lungs and inhaled deeply. She stayed floating at the top, on her back, looking at the stars for a long time. Finally deciding she should get back to land, Bella swam towards the house. Upon getting to shore she laid out on the beach in the fading moonlight and enjoyed the stillness the night provided.

It was for the greater good. She always had to keep reminding herself throughout the years of that fact when there was no one substantial to relax with at night or anyone permanent to spend time with.

She noticed rays of red light coming up above the horizon. The sunrise. How many sunrises had she witnessed alone only because the one she longed for didn't reciprocate her feelings? Instead of continuing on this train of thought Bella focused on the rising sun and its warmth against her skin. From its position on the horizon, she guessed it was around 7 in the morning. She got up soundlessly from the ground and put her outer garments back on over her now dry swimsuit.

Deciding a jog around the island would clear her mind for the day, she set off barefoot in what would be a humans' sprint but was barely a jog in vampires' eyes. She went around the island 12 times before she figured it was late enough to wake her daughter; she had guessed it to be around 9:30 now.

She walked at what was her normal pace to the house. She grabbed her shoes and set them in the closet closest to the side door she came in at. She continued walking to the kitchen and proceeded to make a breakfast of eggs, toast, and bacon for Renesmee, whom she was getting ready to wake up. She placed everything on a large plate and set the table accordingly. Walking over to the fridge, she also took out a large gallon of blood that she had stored from her earlier hunting. She poured half the gallon in a large glass and placed a straw in the liquid. Now she was ready to wake her daughter.

Bella walked down the hallway, the very same hallway she had walked countless times in those years with Edward as they laughed their way to the bedroom caught up in each other's arms all those years ago. They had been so happy… She shook her head to rid herself of the errant thought.

She walked in to her daughter's room and stood in the doorway observing the sleeping woman.

Renesmee was spread out over the entire bed, leaving no room for anything else, even spare pillows, to lie. She was lying on her stomach with her head facing the side, drooling a bit on the pillow her head was on. Bella also noted that while her daughter was wrapped in the sheets, she wore no pants to bed.

She laughed outright. 64 years old and her daughter still had the same sleeping habits she had at the age of 2. The sound of her laughter jolted her daughter from her sleep and she looked up.

"Wha'? Wha's go'n on?" She wiped the unsightly drool from her face.

Bella laughed again; this was like reliving a day when Renesmee was 13. "Get up! I made breakfast."

Her daughter sat up in bed and quickly threw some pants on. "Breakfast?" She asked, still too dazed from sleep to get out full sentences.

She smiled. God, she and Jacob were perfect for each other. "Yes, child. Breakfast. It's in the kitchen if---" her daughter bolted out of the room at a speed faster than the human eye was capable of seeing.

She walked leisurely back to the kitchen and sat across from her daughter, who was already eating her second helpings of eggs and bacon. She just sipped on her straw containing her own sustenance, waiting patiently for her daughter to get her fill of food.

Finally sitting back from her plate and tapping her protruding stomach with both hands, Renesmee groaned. "That was good. I'm so full I could just lay back down and sleep again."

Her mother rolled her eyes. "Well, considering you need to be at the airport in 2 hours that's probably not a good idea."

Renesmee smiled. "Well it was a good idea anyway." She began to put the dirty dishes in the sink, no doubt leaving them there for her mother to clean later.

"Hey, I cooked. The least you can do is clean up." Bella said with a frown on her face.

Her daughter groaned. "Fine," she drawled in a way that made Bella recount her daughter's frustrating teen years. Grudgingly Renesmee walked to the sink and began cleaning the dishes.

"So…" Bella began, "how is everyone else at home responding to Jasper and Alice's situation?"

That was safe enough. Just ask how everyone else is doing and not her in question.

"Oh, you know them. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose are ignoring it and shacking up like bunnies as usual. Grandma Esme would cry if she could, but so far all she's managed to do is just keep cleaning like her life depended on it since neither of them will talk about it. Dad is only over there sometimes but he's not saying much about it either. He keeps saying they both start humming show tunes or start reenacting civil war battle formations. I think he just doesn't want to try to get in their way because he's afraid they'll split up like…" Her sentence drifted off but Bella knew what she was saying.

"He's afraid they'll end up like we did. I know. Ren, you forget I was with your Dad for over half a decade. I know how he thinks."

All her daughter did was shake her head. For all the years her parents had been together, she knew that they obviously weren't perfect for each other. Her mother's attraction to women, possibly one woman, was proof enough of that.

Instead of voicing this, she put the now clean dishes away and sat down with her mother again, this time hoping to get a little information.

"I know. Anyways enough of the family drama, I want to know about all these women."

Bella groaned and let her head drop to the table, careful not to let it break the wood in two. She lifted it after a moment only to drop it in her hands as she stared at her daughter.

"What do you want to know? Most of them only lasted for a month, some less, and some more."

"Well, what did they look like, for one?"

Her mother laughed at her. "Ren, I've dated more women than the years you've been alive and you want me to describe each one to you?"

She frowned. No, that wouldn't do. Besides, they'd be here all day if her mom did that and she had a plane to catch. She'd have to try a different approach.

"No, that'd take forever. Weren't there any that you spent more than a month with?"

"Well, sure."

She smiled again. "So tell me about those ones. There isn't more than ten of those ones, I hope?"

Bella smiled. "I see what you're getting at. No, there weren't more than ten."

In her head she was dancing. "Good, so tell me what they were like."

So tell her Bella did. She went on for a good hour with Renesmee stopping every once in a while to ask questions. At the end of their talk, Renesmee knew that she was a few steps closer to figuring out this potential mystery woman. She now knew that all of these women her mother had gotten closer to were brunettes or dark blondes with short hair and were shorter than her. That piece on the height was a good piece of information in and of itself since it narrowed down her choices of women.

She now could tell that the woman her mother was in love with was most likely a shorter, brunette or dark blonde woman with short hair whom her mother had known for at least the last 15 or so years. She had a dozen or so guesses swimming in her head; a few of them being Jane (shudder), Tanya's older sister (she couldn't think of her name), and Leah from Jake's pack. There were a few other outlandish theories in her mind as well, but she figured she'd eliminate some of the more probable ones first.

"So you've never had a thing for Jane or Tanya's sister in Denali then?" She asked innocently, trying her best to sound simply curious.

Her mother eyed her for a moment then responded. "No. Jane is a cold-blooded menace, and Tanya's sister… Let's just say she's a little too conceited for my tolerance level."

Okay, two down and only four or five more to go. "Oh. Well, what about Leah? She still hasn't imprinted on anyone yet and you guys might be good for each other."

Her mother scowled. "Ren, you may be able to handle Jake, but even if she was a perfect match for me I wouldn't be able to handle being around the smell of wet dog all the time. I only do it now for your kids' sake."

She laughed at her mother's facial expression. She had forgotten that they, full vampires abhorred the supposed smell that came along with being a werewolf. How could she forget something like that? No matter. It crossed Leah off the list. Now onto the more crazy ideas: Aunt Alice, and Zafrina from the Amazon.

Just the thought of her mom being infatuated with one of her aunts grossed her out. Aunt Alice was pretty much the complete opposite of her mother. And Zafrina… heh. Zafrina had been trying to get with her mother, or in her pants, since she and her coven had come to fight in the standoff between the Cullens and the Volturi all those years ago. Zafrina was her most ridiculous guess, so it was more likely that Aunt Alice was the one, and even that idea was preposterous. Still…

Renesmee got up from her seat and started towards the bathroom; she needed a shower before she left. She thought up a quick idea to eliminate one of the potential women as she walked away. "I don't know about you, Mom, but if I was into women, I'd be trying to steal Aunt Alice away from Uncle Jasper. She's hot."

Behind her she could hear her mother sputter into her drink, no doubt spilling some onto the counter if the sound of sloshing liquid was anything to go by. A smirk found its way onto her face for the pride she held in figuring it out. It was quickly overrun with a frown as she considered the consequences from figuring the puzzle out so quickly. She'd have to keep the thoughts away from her father once she got home until she could further confront her mother.

She didn't bother getting a spare set of clothes from her mom and instead opted to just wear what she had worn to the island back home. She turned the dials in the shower and stepped in; she figured she had about 45 minutes before she had to leave. That left her around a half hour to shower, to give her mother time to recuperate, and ten or so minutes to put on her makeup and style her hair. She went about her routine, idly thinking about her husband.

Oh God. She knew. Renesmee knew. It was over. Her secret was out.

What was she going to do?

Nothing. She couldn't do anything at all, because soon her daughter would be leaving for home. Once she was there Bella knew it was a matter of short moments before she told Jacob, who would be an idiot and mention it in front of the kids. Of course the children wouldn't know any better and eventually ask Grandpa Edward about it…

Edward. God, if Edward knew it would break his heart. Even after all these years she knew he loved her. If he weren't already dead she was sure it would kill him to find this out, and from his grandchildren instead of from her to boot.

No. This couldn't happen. She couldn't let it. How was she going to stop it?

"Okay, I need to calm down first of all." She said to herself.

Now what? Now, she had to do damage control. She had to make sure that Renesmee didn't tell anyone, and that included thinking about it considering whom her father was. At least until she could tell him herself. The inevitability of what her plan was going to do railed through her mind: she was going to admit that she loved Alice.

First, though, was the hard part; getting Renesmee to keep quiet for the time being. She had to make it happen in a way that made Renesmee think it was her own idea to stay silent. She heard the water in the bathroom shut off as her daughter began drying herself with a towel.

Frantically, she thought. She could act sinister and threaten her daughter with a lifetime's worth of continuous pranks is she didn't keep her mouth shut. No, that wouldn't work. Renesmee was a woman who knew how to respond to threats; she had been a lawyer and a policewoman in a previous life.

She could play true to her feelings and act on her desperation. Surely her daughter would see that she was sincere in her fear of admitting the truth? That seemed a reasonable plan. She could do that. It was worth a shot.

Now all Bella had to do was wait.


	3. Admitting the Truth

Thanks to everyone for the great reviews!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

-NeedForChange22

* * *

Bella tapped her fingers lightly on the kitchen counter. She was careful to contain the force so as not to break the precious marble top. She heard the water shut off a moment later down the hall and knew it would only be a few minutes until Renesmee was finished getting ready in the bathroom. She herself had changed her clothes to white pants and a white long sleeve top.

Ten minutes later her daughter came from the hallway smelling of coconut and steam. She was wearing the same thing she had worn to the island.

"You know you could have just grabbed something from my closet Ren."

Her daughter shrugged as she went to put some bread in the toaster. "I know, but I didn't have time to pick an outfit. I have to leave in a few minutes."

Bella smiled. "Ah, I see. No wonder then."

Some years ago Alice and Rosalie had taken each Cullen for a closet makeover. Bella, Rose, Alice, and Esme all kept some of those clothes at the sland in the event that any of them visited for a period of time. To go through the entire closet for one outfit would take over two hours at a vampire's pace let alone a human's.

The toaster popped up the now toasted bread with a ding. Renesmee buttered it and grabbed some orange juice from the fridge; she didn't bother with a plate.

Bella let her daughter finish her breakfast quietly and instead opted to put her plan into motion.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to take you to the airport. I need to grab some things inland anyways."

Nodding, Renesmee swallowed her last bit of toast. She grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth. "Sure. We'll have to leave in a few though so you might want to be ready to go."

Bella just nodded in agreement. She had already decided she would present her argument to Renesmee on the way to the plane.

Instead of waiting in the house while her daughter grabbed her things, Bella walked out to the boat and got things ready for them to go. Renesmee followed a few moments later and within seconds they were speeding toward land with Bella steering the vessel.

"So," Bella began. "Let's not beat around the bush. I know you figured it out." She glanced at her daughter out of the corner of her eye and could see acceptance in her facial expression. She had known this conversation was coming.

A sigh was the only sound of acknowledgement for a moment. Then Renesmee spoke up above the roar of the engine even though it was unnecessary. Bella would be able to hear her anyway.

"Yes, I know. The question for you Mom, is what are you going to do about it? You obviously haven't told her since they're still together and nothing has changed."

Before Bella knew it a sigh had escaped her own lips and Renesmee saw a transformation before her eyes. There was no longer the shy, confident woman she knew her mother to be. Now all she noticed was the woman's sagged shoulders and down turned lips as if she had faced this question more times than Renesmee could even comprehend.

This wasn't her mother. What she was seeing was hard reality facing a woman whose love had been kept secret and locked up for more than ten years. The reasons were still unknown. It seemed as if keeping this secret had weighed her mother down so much mentally that it was almost literally weighing her down physically.

She had to give her mother credit where it was due, though. For her to carry this secret for so long without letting it get out especially in front of Uncle Jasper was a miracle by no small standards.

Bella turned her head from the driver's seat and locked her eyes with eyes identical to her own. There was so much desperation held in Bella's swirling golden eyes that Renesmee had to fight to keep herself in her seat instead of going to comfort her mother.

"Ren, it's not that easy. Your Aunt Alice and I have been best friends practically since I first met your father. For me to destroy everything she knows and loves just because of something like this would hurt her. I love her and I'll do everything in my power to see that she stays happy. Even if that means it doesn't involve me. I'm her best friend and if that's all she has to give then I'm not going to ask for more."

Renesmee swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She knew that her mother was self-sacrificing for others' happiness but she didn't think it extended this far.

"But Mom what about you? You've been miserable for years and I'm the only one who's ever noticed besides Jake. Even now; if I hadn't confronted you about it you'd have kept it a secret for who knows how long. Why can't you at least tell her how you feel? It couldn't possibly hurt you any more than what you're hurting as it is."

Bella turned her head away from the prying gaze and forced herself to focus on directing the boat to shore. They were almost to land.

"Because then the rejection would be real." She whispered so low that Renesmee almost couldn't hear it above the loud hum of the engine.

Her voice rose when she kept on. "You can't imagine what it's like to be rejected like that because you've loved Jake since you were born. I know - Edward did it to me for his own selfish reasons when I was human. It almost killed me then so how do you think I'd be able to take it now? I couldn't, not again. It isn't real if I never confront her about it."

And here was where Renesmee saw the problem: fear, and lots of it. Her mother had been so emotionally wrecked when her father left all those years ago that for her to willingly put herself at a position for it to happen again would be mental suicide.

"So what then? Are you planning on keeping this in for eternity? Or are you just waiting until the feelings go away? Both options seem pretty stupid to me. You need to tell her or else you'll be stuck with the woman of the week in your bed with you asking 'what if' for the rest of eternity."

Her mother's shoulders shook and Renesmee knew if she were able to, Bella would be sobbing right now.

"It's not that easy. Because if she says she doesn't feel the same then everything will change! I'll never be able to look at her again without feeling guilty and we'll never be as close as we are now."

"So how are you going to do this then? Because I'm telling you right now Mother if you don't grow some balls and tell her before the end of the year I'm doing it for you and I can guarantee that it WON'T be pretty!"

If possible her mother seemed even more resigned than before. Bella groaned.

"How did I know you were going to say something like that?" She muttered before letting gravity bring her head down to hit the steering wheel with a _thud_.

Renesmee smiled to lighten the mood. "Because you're my Momma and you know every little thing about me!" She said happily. Her smile turned back into a frown.

"But really though. How are you going to do it?"

Bella just brought her head up slowly without saying anything at first.

It was only now that Renesmee noticed that they were a few yards from the docking station. She prepared the boat to dock and left their conversation to be picked up when they got in the car. Both women tied the boat up and stepped out while making sure all the arrangements for the care of the boat were taken care of. They walked quickly to the parking garage and got in the sedan the Cullen's kept at the marina for these exact occasions.

Bella waited until they were driving on the highway before she spoke.

"I want to wait to see how this fight of theirs turns out before I do anything. If it's as bad as you say it is and there's a chance they'll split for good then I'll tell her when I get back. If they stay together then I guess I'll just have to tell her before I leave for the summer."

Renesmee pondered these options for a moment. Both seemed solid in the fact that her mother had at least surrendered to the fact that she was going to have to profess her love at some point in the year. The first idea would happen in about two weeks when Bella got back home. The other one, if the events played out that way, would mean that Alice would know by early July.

"Okay, but if it comes to them splitting up you need to tell her as soon as you get home. Don't put it off until later or else I'll tell her.

Bella nodded as she kept her eyes on the road. She knew that this was as close to her plan as she was going to get so she had to take it. But telling Alice about her feelings?

Where would she start? Would she start by telling her that to her Alice was the sun on the cloudy days that she lived by? She could possibly tell Alice that she first realized she was in love with her the time that they had lived together after she and Edward got home from their two year attempt to salvage their marriage. Whichever way she decided to bring it about, Bella knew the odds that Alice reciprocated her feelings. That thought brought about a whirlwind of emotions tearing through her body so fast that she had to control her body's urge to shake.

When it came time to tell Alice how she felt Bell knew her unbeating heart would be shattered with the rejection to follow. There was no use hoping for Alice to tell her she reciprocated because it only meant more pain when the actual denial came. She gripped the steering wheel as hard as she could without breaking it and tried to calm the emotions eating away at her.

Renesmee noticed this entire inner struggle but opted not to say anything. Instead she placed her bare hand on top of the hand closest to her holding the steering wheel. She let a memory flow through her and into her mother's mind.

_She was playing hide and seek with Leah around the Cullen's property. Currently she was the one seeking. "Come out, come out, wherever you are…" She sang lightly to the empty forest. About a mile away she could hear the rustle of leaves on the forest floor. Quickly she ran towards the sound making sure to make as little noise possible. Suddenly she stopped her sprint after noticing movement off to the side. She darted left and leapt into the air, arms out as if to grab hold of something. She saw a large grey wolf speeding away from her. It was going to be too late; she was going to get to it before it escaped. _

_Hands wrapped around fur and she tackled it to the ground. The animal let out a surprised yelp and Renesmee shouted "GOTCHA!" before she started laughing. The animal growled and pounced, pinning the girl to the ground. She could have tried to overpower the wolf but instead just continued laughing in its face. The animal brought up a large paw and began patting her face; it was Leah's way of showing aggravated affection. _

_She stopped laughing and playfully attempted to nip at the paw. At that same moment the wolf went to paw at her mouth to joke around and before she knew it Renesmee had a mouthful of fur. Teeth penetrated skin. A howl erupted from above her and suddenly the animal was jumping from her and limping away to a far tree. _

_All around she could hear her family rushing for her. Within moments her mother was upon her. She sat up, too dazed to speak as her mother sat down next to her._

"_Renesmee, what happened?" Bella held her daughter close to her bosom, cradling the girl in her lap. _

_Her face felt wet. She brought a finger to her cheek and brought it in front of her face. Blood. Her whole face was covered. She glanced up and could see Carlisle and Jacob tending to Leah who had transformed back to her human form. Some ways away she could see Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper looking on fearfully. _

"_We were just playing around Momma…" She said. "I wasn't trying to bite her. We were just playing around…"_

_Bella just held her tighter. "It's okay honey."_

_Moments later Carlisle walked towards the pair. In hushed tones Carlisle explained to Bella that Leah would be fine; that it was a deep wound but it was already healing due to her heritage. _

_Bella nodded at the end of his explanation and turned her head down toward her daughter. "It's going to be okay, Ren. Leah's going to be fine; you're fine."_

As the memory finished Renesmee took her hand away from her mother's skin.

"Everything is going to be okay, Mom, no matter what happens. I promise." She said resolutely.

Bella just sat there unmoving, not saying a word. She knew that things wouldn't be okay. If Alice rejected her confession she knew that she wouldn't be able to stand staying around her family regardless the short period of time. If Alice didn't feel the same then Bella would leave their family for good.

Rousing herself out of her thoughts, Bella directed the car towards the exit ramp for the airport. It would be about a few minutes before they arrived at the plane.

They arrived at the airport and Bella guided the car into park. She followed Renesmee all the way to the loading gate. The two paused at the same time.

Bella spoke first.

"I'll see you in a couple of weeks when I get home, dear. Be safe."

The corners of her daughter's lips turned up. "Okay. I'll have someone come pick you up from the airport. Remember, when you get home…" The rest of the sentence was implied.

Bella sighed. "Yes, I know. I'll see you soon."

The women exchanged a hug and Renesmee went on her way.

Back on the Island Bella paced throughout the house.

How could she possibly tell Alice how she felt? The love she held for the little vixen was unlike she had ever felt before. Seeing Alice was like seeing the sunrise for the first time. Listening to Alice laugh or laughing with her could compare to hearing a thousand angels sing. And touching her skin…oh, touching her skin made lightning race through her body and settle between her legs.

To describe everything that Alice made her feel would take hours, possibly days and she wouldn't have that kind of time when it came to the actual event. She would only have one chance to explain everything in a way that would hopefully make Alice hate her less when the whole thing was said and done.

She dared not think up any more scenarios lest Alice see one in a vision. Instead she went into the house and grabbed a few books to read in the afternoon sun.

The final two weeks of Bella's vacation continued in this fashion, reading day and night and taking the occasional break to catch some game inland or relax in the water.

On the eve of her departure home she had to swim from the island to land and back just to calm her frazzled nerves. Once she was relaxed enough to lie down she settled herself in the master bed for a few hours of relaxation and meditation.

She cleared her mind of all thoughts, all hopes, all fears. She was a blank slate. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sounds coming from the ocean outside.

Before she knew it morning was upon her and sunlight was streaming through the windows. She checked the clock on the wall, noting that she had around 3 hours to get her things together before she had to leave for her homeward bound flight.

Bella refused to think about things at home until she was actually back. She busied herself with tidying up the house and packing her things. Some of the books she left behind, knowing that Esme would enjoy them on she and Carlisle's next stay.

She spent some time hunting small prey to eat. Once her hunger was sated Bella showered and finished getting ready. Deciding she was finished with everything and that it was time to leave she loaded everything onto the boat and took off.

It seemed like the ride to the airport took seconds rather than an hour. Perhaps it was her nerves? She didn't know and didn't care. She pulled out an iPod from her purse and decided to listen to some music on the flight to pass the time.

The plane finally touched down and all Bella could do was sigh. It was almost time. She half hoped that Alice and Jasper had worked things out just so she wouldn't have to go through the embarrassment of declaring herself to the shorter pixie so early in the year. If she had more time she could find some way out of it. No, Renesmee was resolute in her statement. There was no way out of this.

She left the flight and picked up her baggage with ease. Walking toward the pickup lane Bella started to search for a familiar face. Eventually her eyes settled on the one who literally stood out from the rest: her longtime friend and son-in-law, Jacob Black.

Once Jake saw Bella his face split into a wolfish grin. "Bells! It's been too long!" She dropped her luggage for a moment to receive the bone-crushing hug she knew was coming. She then felt strong, hot arms envelop her in a grip that surely would have killed her had she still been human. She held back the primal instinct to growl and instead wrapped her own arms around his bulking frame.

"Jake, I see you're still smelling as horrible as ever. " She said smirking.

The tower of a man just smiled in return. "You don't exactly smell like roses either, you know."

They exchanged more classic Jacob-Bella banter while they loaded the car. It took merely moments and afterwards they were speeding down the highway.

"So," Jake started. "Nessie told me about your exploits. Really, Bella? 60 women in 5 years? Wouldn't you catch something?" Before she could retort he began to laugh at his own joke. He quickly sobered only for a serious expression to take over. "But really, though…Alice? When did that happen?"

This was not a conversation she wanted to have with Jake. Not yet. She knew though that she had to at least have part of it now or else he'd never leave her alone.

"Yes, Jacob. Alice Cullen. My 'sister.' If you want me to lie and tell you a specific moment then I'd have to say the day Edward and I came home from our final trip to Esme Island together. If you want the truth then I'll tell you that I started to fall for her from the first moment I saw her."

He seemed satisfied with this reply because the seriousness that had just held his features was now settled with a satisfied smile. "Good. That bloodsucker was never right for you anyways."

Bella smiled at his use of the supposed insult. "You do remember that one time when that 'bloodsucker' helped bring you the woman you imprinted on? Second, Alice is a vampire too."

He returned her smile with one of his own. "Yeah, and I'll always be grateful to him for that but you two weren't good for each other. You were always so serious with him. Whenever you're with anyone else, the short one especially, you laugh a lot. You're happy."

She thought on that for a moment. The statements were true enough but she had never thought about them in that light. She was serious when she was with Edward and only ever really laughed when she was with her daughter, Alice or Jacob.

"You're right. I never really thought about it like that."

If possible his smile widened. "Glad to hear you finally accepted the fact that I'm smarter than you."

She shoved him in the side but made sure it wasn't too hard to send him through the metallic car door.

"I said no such thing! Besides, I've always been smarter than you. It's not hard to be smarter than a dog, you know."

A growl erupted from his chest, but from its tone she could tell it was playful. They had arrived in Forks and were coming up to his home. When he parked in their driveway, Jacob got out of the car.

"Who you calling a dog, Cullen? I'm a wolf, and you better never forget it."

Not giving up on her fake persona, Bella got out of the car and walked to where he was standing. "I know, I know. Now won't you go fetch my bags, please? That's a good boy." She patted his head in a dismissive manner and made for the house.

Instead of lunging for her as she had half expected would happen, Jacob simply smirked. "Sure. You know, Nessie always says that she likes it when I use my teeth…" He let the sentence hang in the air.

It had the desired effect.

A growl erupted once again, but it wasn't coming from the werewolf this time. Bella clenched her fists and she could feel her nails dig into her skin. "Jacob Black, you better get that mouth of yours under control or else I may find a place for it…separate from your body."

He simply shrugged and went about grabbing her bags from the trunk. "You deserved it for the dog joke."

She shrugged off her anger before it got the best of her and she actually made good on the threat. He went ahead of her, leaving the front door open for her to enter.

When she walked in she was bombarded with children.

"Gramma Bella! Gramma Bella!" Children screamed at her. She winced; her heightened hearing made the screams all the louder.

Three children were grasping at her legs. The oldest, a boy looking exactly like Jacob with her own eyes looked up with excitement. Charlie would have just turned 8. The next child, Rose, was 5 and was every bit her daughter's child. The baby of the litter, Micah, was 3 and trying to climb up her leg at the moment.

Even though she shouldn't pick one, Micah was her favorite. At times he could make a person change their mind about something regardless of their own desires. It made her think he would have a special ability if he were a vampire. This special boy had at times helped her to make difficult decisions.

"Hello my babies! I hope everyone is having a good time in school?" She hugged each one of them as she spoke. They all groaned at the question.

"Gramma," little Rose said. "Mommy and Daddy won't let me go to school! They said its cause I can't control my changing. I really wanna go though!"

"Well maybe you should practice more then!" Charlie said haughtily. "I can control my changing now. I'm gonna run with the pack!"

"Nuh uh! Daddy said you're not allowed to run with them cause it's dangerous!" Micah piped up in his childlike voice.

Bella kneeled down so that she was on eye level with the children. "Okay, okay. Everyone quiet down. Rose, you and I are going to have a talk in a minute. Charlie, your dad's right; it's too dangerous for you to run in the pack yet. In a few years after you've practiced more you'll be able to run with your brothers and sisters. You know that."

This quieted the children down.

Charlie stomped his foot. "But I wanna run with them now!"

She gave the child a stern face. "Charlie Anthony Black, you will not take that tone with me or any other elder from now on. You are a big boy now, and big boys do not throw tantrums like the one you just did. Do I make myself clear young man?"

The boy in question hung his head in embarrassment. "Yes, Gramma." He said quietly.

She nodded. "Okay, then. You go to your bedroom and clean it as a punishment. I want it cleaned before dinner. Now off with you."

He walked silently to his bedroom. She turned then to the younger children to speak to them.

"Okay, Rose, before we talk I need to talk to your Momma. Is that okay?"

Rose nodded. "Course, Gramma!"

"Good girl," Bella said as she placed a kiss on the girl's cheek.

She picked Micah up in her arms and carried him towards the kitchen where she could hear Renesmee getting dinner together. "Hey little man, how about you? Have you had a good time with your Mommy?" she said as she tickled the boy lightly. He laughed loudly.

He stopped laughing after she stopped tickling him. "Yeah Gramma! We've done all sorts of cool stuff! We even went to the beach yesterday!"

She smiled. "The beach, huh? Did you have a good time?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Uh huh! I skipped a rock 2 whole times before it went in the water! Mommy could only do it 1 time!"

Bella smiled encouragingly. "I'm glad you had a good time, baby. I'm going to talk to Momma now. Do you think you can go play with Rose and Daddy like a good boy until dinner?"

Again, the boy nodded. "Sure Gramma!"

She set him down and he ran back to the living room.

Upon walking in the kitchen, Bella leaned on the counter waiting for Renesmee to finish rolling the dough she had out.

Once Renesmee finished and was cutting out shapes in the dough Bella began.

"Well?"

"Well what Mom? And hello to you too." Renesmee said.

"Don't play ignorant with me Renesmee. Are they still together or not?"

Her daughter sighed. "No, they split up. Uncle Jasper went to stay with the Denalis for awhile while Aunt Alice gets herself together at Grandma and Grandpa's. Aunt Alice is a right mess right now."

Her heart ached. Alice was hurting and she shared in the pain. Anxiety welled in her chest.

"I see. Well I'm going to stay here tonight if you don't mind. Tomorrow I'll go over there and, well, you know…" She couldn't finish the sentence. The anxiety threatened to overtake her for a moment and she had to take a breath to steady herself.

Her daughter noticed this and looked upon her sympathetically. "Of course Mom. You know you're always welcome here. If you need someone to go with you tomorrow, I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind watching the kids for a day."

She was unable to speak at the moment; the emotions were stuck in her throat.

"No. This is something I need to do myself. I appreciate the offer though. Thank you. If you don't mind I'm going to go to the guest bedroom after I speak with Rose. You're not letting her go to school because she can't control her shifting yet?" The question was more interrogative than inquisitive.

Her daughter looked up from her baking. "She still can't manage to hold it in when someone teases her. How do you think that will go when she gets bullied at school? She's the most emotional of them all. It's too much of a risk for now Mom. For now I'm home schooling her while she gets the shifting controlled. She's not allowed to go to school until she can fully control it, no sooner and no later."

Seeming pleased with the answer Bella only nodded and made her way to the living room where she could hear Jacob playing with the kids.

"Rose, are you ready to have that girl talk I promised you?" She asked not so subtly. This left no doubt that she only wanted it to be between herself and her granddaughter. Jacob nodded slightly to show he understood; he would keep Micah occupied for the time they were busy. Rose stood up quickly from her place on the floor and grabbed Bella's hand.

"Sure am, Gramma!"

The two walked outside to the swing on the porch of the house. Bella sat, put Rose in her lap, and began to rock the swing gently.

"So little Rosie, tell me about your changing. Mommy said you change when someone teases you. Is this true?"

The little girl nodded her head. "Yeah, Gramma. Sometimes what they say is really mean and I want to hit them for being so mean to me and it just happens. I always say sorry after but Mommy says it's not good enough for me to go to school." She pouted, her bottom lip puckered out.

Since Rose couldn't see her face Bella frowned. "And who says mean things to you?"

Rose turned around to look at her and Bella made her face into a smile. "Charlie's friend Ryan and his daddy Paul. Paul is Daddy's friend. Paul calls me a baby bloodsucker cause I gots the same name as Aunt Rosie. Charlie's friend always calls me a baby cause sometimes I get scared when they chase me into the woods. I don't like the woods unless Aunt Leah is with me. She lets me ride her in the woods!"

Bella frowned. "Well Rose I promise Paul and Ryan won't call you names again, okay? But you do need to learn to control your changing before you can go to school because there are other mean boys who will try to make you mad too. Can you do that for me? Can you promise to try as hard as you can to control your changing? When you can do it you can go to school and be happy. I hate to see my baby Rosie so sad." At this statement Bella hugged the child to her chest.

"Okay, Gramma I promise to try really hard!" Rose said enthusiastically.

She smiled at the girl before slowing the swing to let her off. "Good. Now let's get inside; it's getting dark."

When they walked back inside Bella saw Charlie standing next to his father, obviously waiting for her.

"Gramma my room's clean now. Can I go play now?"

She looked at her grandson critically. It wasn't his fault her Rosie was getting bullied by Paul and his son. They were likely doing it when he wasn't around because she knew that Charlie was fiercely protective of his younger siblings.

"Yes, Charlie you can go play. Just remember that if I catch you taking that tone with someone else again I'll take my hand to your butt, do you hear me?"

He nodded sheepishly. "Yes, Gramma." He hurried off.

She turned quickly to her wolfish friend. "Jacob, do you know what I just found out from your daughter? That your 'friend' Paul and his son Ryan have been calling her names like baby bloodsucker."

She watched his face turn from its normally content expression to one of barely controlled rage. "They said _what_ to my daughter?!" He said loudly.

Bella dared not to touch him. "Calm down. You can't go over there this very moment but I do expect you to take care of this soon. I hate to see any of my grandchildren sad like that little girl just was."

Her words had hit their mark; he visibly calmed down. She could tell he was still livid but that he was working out when and where to confront Paul and his son and this concentration was taking up all his energy.

"On that note I'm retiring to the guest room. I'll be gone sometime tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Jake."

He could barely get out goodnight in his state. She walked to her room and lay down to relax until morning.

Bella got out of bed when her clock ticked 9:00. She took a fresh change of clothes into the unoccupied bathroom and showered for the day. She decided that she would leave for Carlisle and Esme's house around 10:30. It was all she could do to force herself to not think about what she was going to do in an hour's time.

In order to distract herself she finished her morning routine as slow as she possibly could. It worked; the clock read 10:25. It was now or never.

Opting to leave her luggage at her daughter's house until afterwards, Bella asked Jake for the keys to one of their cars. He threw her a set from the kitchen table and she took off, making sure to go the speed limit so as not to bring attention to herself.

In minutes she was pulling down that dreaded driveway. She reluctantly put the car into park and walked into the house, announcing herself as she crossed the threshold.

Immediately Esme was upon her for a hug.

"Bella, it's been so long! How have you been? How was your vacation?"

She swallowed nervously and they pulled away from one another. "Okay and pretty good. Actually, is Alice here? I need to talk to her."

Her ex mother-in-law frowned, sadness and concern washed over her features at the mention of her other daughter. "She's in Edward's old room, dear. Is there something wrong?"

Bella shrugged in a non-committal way, attempting to be nonchalant. "I just really need to talk to her."

Esme surveyed her for a moment. "Okay, but if you need anything don't hesitate to ask. Carlisle's at work so it's just us three in the house."

She nodded. "Thanks, Esme."

Hearing the dismissal the older woman walked away.

She started up the stairs. This was it; she was going to tell Alice how she felt.

Her nerves were making her normally fluid motions jerky. Her jaw was clenched.

Reaching the closed door to the room Alice was occupying, she brought her hand up to knock. Before her knuckles reached the mahogany that melodious voice interrupted her.

"You can come in, Bella." Of course Alice would know she was here.

She turned the knob and walked in. The sight in front of her made her heart swell with pain for her beloved.

Alice was wearing wrinkled clothes sitting on the couch that was in the center of the bedroom. The pixie was staring at nothing in particular and her face looked so forlorn and depressed that Bella almost turned towards the door to come back another time. This was obviously hitting her hard.

No, this had to happen now or she'd never have the courage to come again.

She took a step toward the couch and Alice looked up at her. Coal black eyes looked up lifelessly into golden orbs. She hadn't eaten either; that wasn't good. It meant that Alice would be severely agitated along with the other feelings that were going through her.

Still, she kept walking.

Eventually Bella reached the couch and sat on the opposite end that the shorter woman was occupying.

They sat in uneasy silence for some time. How long, Bella didn't know. She was busy trying to gather the remaining courage she had within. The raven haired vampire next to her kept staring across the room, her body perfectly still and seemingly not taking notice in Bella.

Finally Bella found her voice.

"Alice, we need to talk…" She said slowly, afraid to interrupt the quiet that had enveloped the room.

The other vampire barely opened her lips when she spoke.

"I know." Then the other woman's face turned towards her own. Black eyes burned into her knowingly.


	4. The Confession

Hello all,

Sorry this took so long - classes and work are consuming my life. I appreciate all the compliments and the gentle criticisms I've received in my reviews so thanks to everyone! My beta suspenceme gets a big loud "Thank you!" for finding the time in her own hectic life to make sure that I'm not writing with 4th grade grammar skills. :D

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns.

NeedForChange22

* * *

She sat stone still, afraid to start the conversation that could either tear apart or liberate her dead heart.

Minutes went by. Neither moved to say anything. Bella shifted restlessly in nervousness, an action carried over from her previous life.

Alice was content to ignore that the conversation was going to happen until Bella said something. She had foreseen it in a vision weeks ago but it had hung on Renesmee's decision to push Bella into action. Last night she had purposely looked into the future and saw that Bella had reluctantly chose to come to confess.

She had spent the entire night in silent contemplation. Jasper being gone had put her in a sour mood but it was entirely her fault that he had left her and she knew it.

She had, over the past two decades, realized that Bella was more of a friend to her than any other being she had known. She could open up to Bella about things she hadn't told anyone, including Jasper. Bella, with her naturally quiet demeanor, always stayed and listened to whatever she had to say regardless of the topic. It always seemed that Bella was content to sit with her and listen to the sound of her voice.

Then one day she had a vision of Bella and herself kissing on the front porch in the morning sunlight. The image hadn't so much as scared her as it had surprised her. She hadn't expected that Bella had those feelings toward anyone, let alone her, and she considered them to be best friends.

Instead of the idea scaring her, the thought of Bella having feelings toward her had flattered her. She was with Jasper and that was enough for her…or so she had thought.

It was only a few years ago that she had started to detect that those feelings of intense friendship for Bella had taken a subtle turn down a different path.

Her hands had begun to touch Bella's arm more often. She found herself hugging Bella at odd moments just to feel close to the woman and to smell the soft tangerine of her shampoo. This, for Alice, was the time period she would say it had started. But if she were honest to herself she would say that it had started long before then.

Initially Alice had ignored the feelings she had labeled as a flitting crush and instead threw herself vivaciously into her lackluster marriage with her husband. They traveled the world together for years and only came back home to spend time with their family during the holidays. This allowed her to avoid both Bella and Edward without admitting anything to anyone.

However, as time went on things only got worse. She and Bella talked over the phone every week or so and Alice was pulled further into the inevitable gravity that was known as Isabella Cullen. She had tried to keep her feelings inside but when they leaked out Jasper had shrugged and assumed for a time that they were directed at him.

It took him almost three full years before he had figured it out and by that time Alice had fallen for Bella in such a way that she doubted she would ever come back from the descent. When she had the vision of Bella confessing her feelings Jasper had asked what had her emotions going crazy. She was unable to lie to him and had told him the nature of the vision. It was during that conversation that he had finally gotten angry about the whole situation.

When Jasper confronted Alice about her feelings they had argued about it, much in the fashion that Bella and Edward had, but their roles were reversed. Jasper had only wanted to leave her but Alice was desperate to try to start over and stay together. They too had decided to try and save their relationship. In the end Jasper couldn't take it any longer and had walked out on her.

That had been a week ago.

She was so miserable from losing her long time partner that she had arrived on Carlisle and Esme's steps with slouched shoulders and a morose face, unable to form words. She stayed in her room alone the entire week contemplating what to do about Bella, what to do about Jasper, and the situation as a whole. She never left her room, opting to sit in her quiet deliberation on the same couch she sat now. She had eaten a week before she arrived at Carlisle and Esme's and refused to feed until after the meeting with Bella. In a way Alice supposed she was punishing herself for the treacherous feelings within her.

And now here they were: Bella trying to control her obvious nerves and Alice still trying to think of ways to convince Jasper to take her back.

Bella cleared her throat softly and Alice was jerked out of her reverie. This was playing out like the vision so she barely had to pay attention to know what was going to be said.

"Um, so you obviously know how this is going to go, but please just let me say what I need to say and then I'll leave you alone forever."

That last part threw Alice off, if just for a moment since it hadn't been part of her vision. If Bella had already known the outcome, then why bother confessing in the first place? Sure, she didn't know that Alice felt a similar way but was she so beyond hope that she had accepted the inevitability of Alice's rejection?

This thought made Alice's depression slip even further. Bella knew that Alice wouldn't stop trying to get back with Jasper any time soon, but she was still was being forced to confront her because of that stubborn niece of hers.

Oh, when she next saw Renesmee she was going to throttle that girl…

Alice just nodded her head, trying to give Bella the silence she had asked for.

If possible Bella just looked more frightened. She laughed nervously.

"I've been thinking about how to even start talking, but then I decided to just come out with it." She took a calming breath to steady her shaky voice and placed her hands on the tops of her thighs, gripping them so hard that Alice figured that her nails might tear through the fabric.

Alice now turned to face Bella, crossing her legs in an Indian style on the couch. The least she could do was look Bella in the eyes as she turned her down.

Bella took a deep breath of air; her whole body lifted a bit to reflect the oxygen in her lungs.

This was it, Alice knew. This was the moment.

"I'm in love with you." Bella's voice was soft in its declaration, almost as if by keeping her voice smooth and low it would lessen the supposed blow she thought it was going to be.

Alice made no move to speak. She knew that there was more to be said. She just stared into immense pools of gold and tried to focus on the conversation at hand. Bella looked back with such a sad gaze that Alice's steady breathing caught in her throat.

"I won't tell you the whole story because I know you want this over with so you can get on with whatever it is you were doing. I'll just tell you the short version."

Bella took another breath and exhaled while she attempted to control her whirlwind emotions and calm her racing mind. Alice remained stoic.

"We've always been close, especially after that vacation to Canada everyone took. But it wasn't until after Edward and I came home from our 'marriage camp' that I realized I was in love with you. To say that you were beautiful standing on those steps waiting for us wouldn't do you justice. I've kept my mouth shut about my feelings so it wouldn't make things weird between us or between you and Jasper. I had figured on just keeping it a secret forever but my meddling daughter pretty much blackmailed me into coming here and talking to you."

This time a sigh slipped from Bella's lips. Alice looked down and noted that the woman's hands still held a vice-like grip on her legs and hadn't torn through the fabric. This was hurting Bella beyond measure and Alice felt a wave of sadness hit her over that fact. Her eyes kept traveling up the brunette's body but she averted them and made herself look into swirling gold again. She didn't know what else was coming; her vision had already played itself out but she wasn't going to miss the words coming next just because she was admiring the view.

"That's all I'm going to say about it since I know you probably want me out of here as soon as possible. But I will say that I promise to stay away from you for as long as you want me away so I won't mess up your life any more than I already have."

Alice's face formed a frown as she spoke up for the first time since Bella started talking.

"You're leaving? When?"

Bella shrugged, as if to make it seem like it wasn't the big deal for her that it was. "Today's Wednesday, so I'll probably leave Saturday. I want to spend some time with the kids before I go."

Alice's frown deepened. She had seen that Bella was leaving after the school year was over. What had changed her mind to make it so much sooner?

Bella felt terrible to leave Ren and the kids but if it was the only way to make Alice happy then she would do it. She had long ago figured out that she would do anything to make Alice smile, even if she wasn't around to see it or be the cause of it.

Alice just stared at her again and Bella felt as if those charcoal eyes were seeing the very bottom of her soul. She forced a calm expression on her face and stared back, determined not to look away from the scrutinizing, yet confused, gaze.

Bella was the first to break eye contact. Her eyes instead shifted down to her hands, which she was wringing together. Again her voice echoed through the room softly. It held a nervous tone.

"I was just wondering…I mean you don't have to if you don't want to…but I was hoping maybe I could see you smile before I leave? I mean like I said you don't want to but I was just hoping maybe because I won't see you after I go…" Her rambling died off.

Alice's voice was soft to mirror that of her guest.

"Bella…"

The woman in question turned her head up to look at the pixie-like vampire and Alice couldn't help but smile softly. Golden orbs swirling with mixed emotions stared her down, drinking her in. Eyes found their way to her chest and Alice unknowingly licked her lips in reaction to the desire she found in the other woman's expression.

The way Bella's eyes continued their slow descent down her body made Alice almost visibly shiver with want.

Bella had to reel in the lust that was rushing through her body as her eyes raked over Alice's lean form but she was only slightly successful in her attempt before her eyes settled at the pixie's hips. What she would give to hold down those hips while they made love…

_Get a grip on yourself, Cullen, _her conscience reprimanded. She squeezed her legs together in an effort to quell her racing hormones.

She continued her inspection, and her eyes roamed further down to seemingly soft legs that appeared to go on for miles before they ended to attach to dainty bare feet. This was how she wanted to remember Alice: smiling, and so beautiful that it made her heart sing with rapture.

She sighed again. "I should get going before I say anything else stupid," she muttered. She got up from her sitting position.

"Thank you for letting me get all of that off my chest without saying anything. It meant a lot to me for you to listen and not just kick me out. I'm sorry I ruined your relationship with Jasper. I hope you get back together with him if it makes you happy again."

Alice just stared up at her, depression so deep within her eyes that it hurt Bella just to look at her. Jasper must have truly broken her heart for she had never seen Alice so miserable. Her own heart wailed inside at the obvious pain reflected in her Alice's eyes.

No, Bella corrected herself mentally. Alice was not hers and never would be.

On that depressing thought, she made herself look Alice square in the eye. "I promise I won't bother you again, Alice. Goodbye."

After saying goodbye Bella walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen where she knew Esme could be found. It took all of her inner strength to keep from breaking down right then and there. But no, she would do that later. When she was alone.

Shakily she took in another breath and faced her surrogate mother.

"Esme I'm going to be leaving for a long time. I don't know if I'll be coming back."

Confusion swept through matching golden eyes. "What's going on, dear? Is everything all right?"

Bella's face wore a mask of sadness. "No it's not okay. But I'm going to try to make everything right again."

"And how is your leaving going to do that?"

She paused before she responded. She knew that Esme would have heard everything she said so there was no use denying it.

"It will give Alice and Jasper a chance to be together again."

The confusion was present even more. "You're going to have to give me more information than that because I am failing to see the connection. Their split had nothing to do with you."

Bella looked sadly on at the woman she had come to love like her own mother, God bless her soul.

"Their break up had everything to do with me. I'm in love with Alice. It's because of me that they're not together. I'm leaving so that they can have a shot of getting back together and Alice can be happy again." She hung her head, afraid to see disappointment in her mother's eyes. It was her fault almost the entire family was broken. First Edward, now Alice and Jasper.

Arms encircled her waist. "Oh, Bella…darling I'm so sorry." Bella hugged back, resting her head on Esme's shoulder. This was not expected. She had figured Esme would tell her to leave and hope things would smooth over in time. Instead the words that came out of her mother's mouth gave her comfort.

"Do you really have to go? Can't you just stay close enough for a visit every once in a while?"

Bella shook her head on Esme's shoulder. "I can't. It's too painful. Besides, the further away I am from them the better chance they have to salvage their relationship."

Esme just tightened her embrace, putting her hand at the back of Bella's head in a show of comforting affection and sympathy. The two pulled apart with Esme holding her daughter at arms length, acceptance laced in honey colored eyes.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, call me. Don't be afraid to come home if you want or need to. Our door is always open for you."

Bella just nodded. Words would never be enough for what she felt for Esme at that moment. Her mother understood and accepted that she had to leave and would do nothing to stop her.

Esme wrapped Bella up in another hug in a sudden show of emotion.

"I love you, dear."

Her voice caught in her throat and she had to clear it before she was able to speak.

"I love you too, Mom."

With that being said Bella walked out of the kitchen and got in Jacob's car. She sat in the driveway for a moment, unable to will her hand into putting the key in the ignition. Absently she looked up at the window she knew was Alice's. It was empty but for the drapes that hung loosely inside the window frame.

Her heart was threatening to fall apart in the car and she fought ruthlessly to keep it together until she left. Wearily she started the car and drove back to Renesmee's.

She walked into the house, dropped the keys off on the kitchen table, and greeted her grandchildren drearily. Renesmee, who was washing dishes in the kitchen, knew by the look on her mother's face that the confrontation didn't go well and opted not to ask questions yet. She would get the story later.

Bella forced a smile and played with the children for the rest of the morning and afternoon before it was time for dinner and bed.

When all the children had been put to sleep Renesmee, Jacob, and Bella sat in the living room. Silence reigned until Renesmee spoke out.

"I take that it didn't go well." It wasn't a statement. She was merely pushing for details.

Bella sighed again. It seemed she had been sighing a lot lately.

"No, it didn't. I told her the short version of everything and after that I said goodbye. I walked downstairs, said goodbye to Esme, and left. And here I am."

Jacob was the next to speak up. "Well Bells, if you ever need somewhere to stay you know you're always welcome to stay with us." Renesmee stated her agreement as well. She also noticed that her mother seemed unwilling to talk anymore on the subject of what happened.

Bella nodded in understanding. "I'd like to stay a few days. Spend some time with the kids before I leave and all."

Renesmee and Jacob both agreed that it would be good for them to spend time with her before she left.

No one spoke again for half an hour. The couple enjoyed the silence brought on by sleeping children and Bella was still trying to keep herself together. Finally she couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back sometime tomorrow."

The couple only nodded in understanding before she took off outside, running as if her life depended on it.

She ran out of wolf territory and into the Cullens'. She sprinted as fast as she could until she was no longer in the hiking part of the forest. She stopped when she noticed some old hunting grounds that she and Edward used to visit about an hour's jog away from the Cullen residence. She hoped that the distance was enough because she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Bella screamed.

She screamed until she had no more breath in her lungs and then she fell to the ground, her knees hitting the dirt roughly as she held her head in her hands. Dry sobs racked her body. Her hands tore away from her face and clawed at the earth underneath her. She screamed some more. Once she was out of breath once again she fell to a sitting position and just sat, unmoving. Her body could no longer take the agony she had just put it through.

Bella's heart had broken for the last time.

* * *

Alice sat in the same position that Bella had found her in earlier, contemplating the words the brunette had said.

"_But it wasn't until after Edward and I came home from our 'marriage camp' that I realized I was in love with you. To say that you were beautiful standing on those steps waiting for us wouldn't do you justice."_

That would mean that Bella had been in love with her for over 10 years. How could she have missed it in all that time? Granted, Bella had been staying away from the rest of the family and rooming with Renesmee whenever she was in town but that was no excuse for Alice to miss the indicators early on.

At some point, Esme cracked her door open and begged her to come out to feed. She stared blankly at her mother and asked her to leave. She would eat when she figured out everything in her head.

However, her focus had strayed with Esme's interruption and she heard rustling in the forest. Something was tearing through the woods at a breakneck speed only her kind possessed. Her curiosity got the best of her and her head turned toward the open window to her side. She could hear a female screaming for a time. Bella. Finally there was silence. She physically hurt to hear the usually reserved and introverted woman break down.

* * *

Bella lied on the forest floor for some time. How long, she didn't know. The whole scene seemed eerily similar to her time in the woods after Edward left her. Oh, how the deities seemed to enjoy playing with her heart…

She finally gathered enough composure and energy to get up and walk home.

When she arrived home, it was nearly noon on Thursday. She put herself through the motions of cleaning herself up and forced a smile on her face when the children wanted to play. She brought out her digital camera and took hundreds of pictures of the children while they all played together, she and her daughter, she with Jake, and the whole family together. This would be the last time they saw her for God knows how long.

Saturday afternoon finally arrived and Bella was almost glad to leave. She was sick of putting on a smile and enjoying herself when all she wanted to do was be miserable away from prying eyes.

Looking over her room to make sure all her things were packed, she picked up her luggage and loaded it into Jake's car. The family was waiting outside. It was time, and before she left she had something to say.

"Do you really havta go, Gramma?" Rose said, a pout on her face.

She looked down sadly at the children. "I do dear. I've got to help little boys and girls that don't have mommies and daddies like you do. But I promise to write to you and call you when I get settled down, okay?"

The three children nodded in unison. She hugged each one for a long moment before turning to her daughter with harsh eyes. Renesmee was surprised to see the resentment reflecting back in her mother's honey eyes.

Bella lowered her voice to a decibel only she and her daughter could hear.

"This is entirely your fault Renesmee, and I don't know that I can forgive you. As your mother I'm disappointed to know you would blackmail someone into doing something so life altering against his or her wishes. As your best friend I can't believe you forced me into doing something we both knew was going to hurt me. I want you to think about what your arm-twisting has cost the members of your family because now your children will have to live with the web you've weaved."

Her daughter just stood there, mouth open in shock. Jake somberly reached over and clasped her jaw shut before shooing the kids back into the house before he climbed in the car, giving the two women a moment alone.

Bella continued to stare at her daughter in pained rage. The way she was blackmailed was cruel. Renesmee knew the way Edward's abandonment had affected her so long ago. To willingly push her into such a similar position for heartbreak was downright abuse. The betrayal she felt ran deep. She saw from her daughter's expression of shame that the younger woman understood.

Bella's daughter hung her head. Renesmee knew that something in her mother had broken and it would take time to fix it again. She had taken a chance in holding the threat over her mother's head but she knew that the risk was minor compared to the life Bella would have had if she hadn't confronted Aunt Alice. At least now her mother could move on from the loss and hope to recover.

But at the same time she could appreciate how her mother felt. To anyone else it would have seemed as if she were forcing her mother into doing something she didn't want to do. However, Renesmee had watched the gradual change in her mother over the years. Smiles were harder to come by and visits were shorter and shorter each year.

Upon her visit to Esme Island she knew that her mother was in love and by the way that she flinched at every Cullen function it had to be someone in the family. While visiting she had also figured out that her mother's secret love was her Aunt Alice and had threatened to tell her aunt if Bella didn't say something by the end of the year. It had motivated her mother to confront her love after her vacation ended that very month.

Now, with her mother running away from the source of her heartache, Renesmee found herself feeling guilty of ever saying anything in the first place. It was because of her that Bella was now a hollow shell of her former self. She sighed.

"You're right, but at least now you've gotten it off your chest and can move on."

Bella just shook her head sadly and looked back at her daughter with sorrow that sunk to Bella's very soul.

"You don't get it, Ren. This is the one I won't be able to get over. She was my life boat, and you made me put a hole in the bottom."

Bella turned around and started toward the passenger side of the car. Without turning around, she spoke one last time.

"I hope you're happy, Ren. You got what you wanted; your curiosity has been satisfied. I hope it was worth it to you."

Renesmee clenched her teeth together in an effort to halt the words trying to come loose. She wanted to beg her mother's forgiveness, to plead and cry to absolve her of her horrible action, but she didn't. It would be useless in this moment. Instead she just swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded silently as her mother got in the car and she watched her husband drive them toward the airport.

Bella and Jacob were both silent on the drive to the airport. Upon their arrival, Jacob parked in the drop-off station and turned to Bella.

"Do you know where you're going?"

She shrugged. "Not really. Somewhere out of the States. I'll text you when I'm on the plane there."

He nodded in response and the two got out in unison. He grabbed her bags for her and placed them on a trolley so she could trek them to the check-in station. The two were facing each other. His eyes shone their understanding; he too had once known heartbreak, however short it was. In usual Jacob fashion he wrapped her up in his arms and hugged her tightly to him. Words were not needed in this exchange.

She left the comfort of his arms and emotionlessly walked to the check-in area, trolley dragging behind her. The attendant called for the next person and she walked up, glancing at the list of departing flights. The smiling mortal looked at her brightly after a moment of shock at her beauty. Humans were like that sometimes.

"How can I help you, ma'am?" The employee asked politely.

Bella, still looking at the monitors, thought pensively. The decision was between two locations. She replied slowly. "Yes, I need to purchase a plane ticket."

The attendant smiled even wider. "Okay, ma'am. Where would you like to go?"

This time she actually looked at the woman while she replied. The lifelessness displayed in darkening honey eyes startled the woman once again.

"Heathrow."

She paid quickly and received her ticket. Checking it to be sure, she checked her luggage in and boarded her plane. Not once did she look back.

* * *

The pain she felt after hearing Bella's breakdown in the woods hadn't faded. It only served to add to the already existing guilt built up in her stomach.

Bella was normally an open book with Alice when it came to her feelings but not to anyone else. She knew why now. Sometimes she confided in Alice about the loneliness and jealousy she felt whenever she was around the Cullen family because everyone had paired off. When Alice would comfort her in those conversations, Bella would simply shake her head and mutter that she didn't understand. Nevertheless she would always accept the hugs and reassuring words in silence.

"_I've kept my mouth shut about my feelings so it wouldn't make things weird between us or between you and Jasper. I had figured on just keeping it a secret forever but my meddling daughter pretty much blackmailed me into coming here and talking to you."_

Poor Bella. How long had she lived with this inside of her without talking to anyone about it? Alice guessed almost the entire 11 years. Her insides ached with sympathy for the weight Bella had no doubt carried for longer than a decade just to ensure Alice's happiness with Jasper. And now Jasper had left her, making Bella's sacrifice worth nothing. This made her thoughts drift back to Jasper.

Losing Jasper could have been compared to if she had lost her legs; she could still function without him but everything in her life had to be readjusted around the loss. She didn't want to adjust. She was a creature of comforting habit. Her relationship with Jasper was secure and certain, whereas her love for Bella was new, unsure, and scary. She knew everything about Alice and Jasper, but nothing of Alice and Bella. It was easier to crave something she knew she lost than to yearn for something she never encountered before.

Looking out the window she idly noticed that the sun was setting. Or was it rising? How long had she been sitting? Her throat burned painfully and the beast inside of her finally made itself known again, its presence magnified ten times what it normally was. She was hungry. Starving. It didn't matter at the moment. She had to talk to Jasper. She had to explain again.

Silently and swiftly Alice shifted from her sitting position to a standing one and searched the room with her eyes for the object she needed. Finally noticing it she darted towards it and picked it up in a single fluid motion. She held the cell phone in front of her for a moment as she sped dialed "2" before she placed the receiver next to her ear.

After 4 rings, she sighed and brought the phone away from her head intent on hanging up when a resigned Southern drawl assaulted her hearing.

"Hello, Alice."

She had to put the phone back to her ear quickly as she tried to come up with the right words to say.

"Hey, cowboy." She almost smacked herself. That wasn't the best way to greet him but it was how she always had before.

A small sigh erupted through the speaker and she knew she had hurt him again with the nickname.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He was clearly trying to restrain his sarcasm but Alice could hear that it was difficult for him to be on the phone with her now.

She tried to think of how to ask him to come back. Coming up empty, she decided to improvise.

"I miss you." Alice blurted out suddenly, her voice rising slightly at the end of the sentence.

Another sigh came through the speaker.

"I miss you too, darlin', but I don't think it's in the same way you do. Tell me, what do you miss about me?"

She didn't even need to think about it.

"I miss our walks in the forest, or on the beach, talking about the fashion trends and books we've read, and I really miss you being here next to me at night."

"I thought as much. That's not what I meant but it answered my question all the same, I suppose."

Now she was confused. "What did you mean then?"

"I meant what about me did you miss? Not about what we did together. What about me, Jasper Whitlock, have you missed?"

She still didn't understand fully and asked him to elaborate.

He seemed patient in his readiness to explain.

"When I say that I miss you, Alice, I mean that I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you can make a room light up. I mean that I can't forget the way you sigh after an especially good bath or the way your eyes sparkle when you're designing something. It's those little things that I'm talking about. Do you miss anything like that about me?"

She was silent for a moment. Then another moment. And another. Finally he spoke up again.

"You don't, and that's okay. I sort of expected it after this whole Bella issue. It's taken me some time alone but I think that I've discovered that we were never really in love like everyone else, but rather loving each other as much as two vampires could without being each other's true mates."

Alice's hold on the cell phone was loosening and she had to shake her head to get a grip on it again. How could he say something like that?

"How could you say that? We've been together for over a century! Look at all the things we've experienced together. Did all of that mean nothing to you?" She was almost angry now. The way he was describing their relationship made it seem as if they were just playing house until the real homeowners got back.

When she stated just as much to him, he actually managed a laugh.

"My dear Alice, that's exactly what I'm saying and not in the same breath. Of course our time together meant something to me, but it's taken me until now to realize that we've never been a perfect fit together. We've always argued much worse than any other couple and it's always taken us twice as long to get back to good terms. But in the sense that we were playing house, you are right. We just didn't know we were doing it until your feelings for Bella finally emerged."

The way he was explaining it made her contemplate their relationship in a light she had never looked at it in before. They had fought more so than anyone she knew, and it always took them weeks, sometimes months to stop fighting. She would never admit to it but there were times at night when Jasper was holding her after a session of lovemaking that Alice wished he were more curve and less bone. Her feelings for Bella had just crept up on her, swept her up, and never let her feet touch the ground again. After they had appeared, Alice had noticed that things with Jasper weren't so in sync as she had thought them to be.

"I can't believe I didn't see it…" She whispered into the receiver, barely able to conceive that she hadn't thought of the theory before.

There was a small pause in the conversation.

"So you finally get it too. It took me much longer that you since I had no one to show it to me and had to figure it out on my own." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"God, how could we have not known? We were lovers for 100 years!"

Jasper's tone became more playful. "Are you actually agreeing with me, Ms. Cullen?"

She put on a reluctant air. "I suppose so, Mr. Whitlock. I must concede that once every decade or so you are right. This just happens to be that phenomenon."

He laughed outright. "Well, glad to hear it's up to once every 10 years now."

She sobered up. "So…are we okay now? Can you stop avoiding me and come home?"

He too returned to his somber state. "I think I'm going to stay abroad for a little while longer. It's doing me some good to be away from everyone and start over fresh. I'll be sure to keep in touch every so often though, I promise."

Her hopes dropped before lifting. If she could at least stay in contact somewhat she would feel better about their separation.

"Okay," she said reluctantly. "I guess that works for me. I'll relay the information to the family."

He expressed his gratitude to her.

"It's not a problem. After what I did to you it's the least I can do."

"That's true. So, has your vision played out yet?"

He was asking if Bella had expressed her feelings yet. This time it was Alice's turn to sigh.

"Yes. It played out almost exactly like my vision but with a little bit added on. I guess she wasn't going to say it until she got here and started talking. She said she was going to leave Saturday."

He took a deep breath and exhaled in a barely contained sigh. "Well, I was going to say you should go get her before she leaves but it's too late for that now."

Now she was a mix of confusion and curiosity. Just how long HAD she been sitting in her room? She voiced her curiosity out loud.

"Jasper, what day is it?"

He seemed genuinely worried. "You don't know what day it is? Alice, it's Tuesday."

Alice stiffened. She hadn't fed in over three weeks. No wonder the beast was raging so violently inside of her. But then a thought suddenly came to her mind. Bella was gone.

Bella had left. Forever. And she didn't even need to because she and Jasper weren't getting back together.

"Alice, are you okay? You're not talking. Hello? Are you there?"

She quickly regained her composure. "I'm here. But I have to go. I have to find Bella and set things right."

She could hear his smile return in the next words he spoke.

"That's my girl. About time you wise up. I hope things go well for you, darlin'."

She smiled again at the indirect blessing he was giving her.

"Thanks, Jasper. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

She hung up the phone, the realization of what she was about to do suddenly clearing her head of the fog it had been in for the last few weeks. She hurriedly rushed downstairs to find Esme and Carlisle curled up together on the couch watching a movie. The light filtering through the windows told her it was nearing evening.

"Mom, Dad…" She began. Both in question turned to look at her curiously. When Esme saw the look on her daughter's face, she signaled Carlisle to turn the T.V. off.

"Yes, dear?" Her mother said.

She stood up straight. "I'm going to find Bella. I have some important things to tell her."

Comprehension washed over Esme's features as Carlisle's face reflected the same emotion.

"Have you finally figured out what your heart truly wants?" Carlisle said cryptically.

Alice nodded. "It's her. Always has been. Jasper was the one to finally make me see everything."

Both of her parents nodded almost as if they had figured it out already, which they probably had.

"Do you know where she is?" Carlisle asked.

She closed her eyes and searched for Bella within the confines of her decisions and their visions. The brunette was jumping between choices of hotels like mad, but Alice was able to discern that she was somewhere in London.

"I have a general idea."

Her father nodded. It was her mother who spoke next, her voice taking on a softly scolding tone.

"Alice, she's been through enough. Please don't hurt her any more…I don't think she could take any more heartache and go on living…"

Their daughter's face was now laced with sorrow. "I know. That's why I've got to go to her, to see if I can fix what I've already broken."

This time Esme studied her daughter carefully. If Alice went to Bella and Bella was hurt again, Esme was sure she'd have to intervene to keep Bella alive. Bella was her child now and she knew the quiet brunette couldn't take another hit to her already shattered heart and try to live through it.

"Okay," Esme said. "But I want you to call or text us as soon as you've found her."

Alice only nodded her recognition as she suddenly sprinted back upstairs and packed a couple of suitcases. Once that was finished she raced back downstairs with her luggage and out the door to her Porsche. In moments her trunk was packed and she was off to the airport.

She only hoped that Bella would listen to what she had to say.


	5. Moving On?

Thanks to all the faithful readers out there who are giving me great feedback! As always suspenceme gets a big thank you. :D

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer is brilliant and owns all but the Bella/Alice pairing.

-NeedForChange22

* * *

Bella sat on the curb in front of her apartment building, contemplating if she should shop now or later for new furniture to go along with the new flat she had just rented out for the next few months. Shopping could be mind-numbing if she tried hard enough. But then again, Alice had always made shopping an easier experience for her…

_Stop! _Her mind screamed at her. She had vowed to prevent herself from thinking about Alice and anything Alice related. She needed to try to move on. It was useless; she was reminded of Alice in almost every day-to-day chore or action she did. Still, though, she tried for the sake of her sanity. Bella got up from her previous position and walked up to her flat, silently thinking about ways to get Alice off of her mind.

There was an easy way to forget about Alice, if only for a few hours… She looked at her watch. It was almost 7. That meant she had about 3 hours before she had to get ready and 4 hours before she even had to arrive.

Idly she tidied up what little there was to tidy. Her luggage was placed in her bedroom and she called several local friends to let them know she would be in town for a little bit. When all that was finished, she quickly headed to a small furniture store down the road. Bella picked out the most modest living room set and bedroom furniture she could find and purchased it, asking that it be delivered the next day around three. She checked the time as she walked back to her flat. She would have to start getting ready once she got back home.

Once she arrived home, Bella got in the shower and scrubbed herself until she grew tired of the motions. Washing her hair quickly, she got out of the tub and dried her wavy mane. After applying the necessary amount of hairspray and makeup, she wandered over to one of her open suitcases and picked out an enticing outfit. She brushed her teeth after dressing and looked herself over in the mirror. Even after 60 years it still sometimes startled her to look in the mirror.

She was as beautiful and flawless as the day she was changed, forever stuck at the age of 18. Dressed in the fashion she had just changed into, however, turned her from breathtaking to heart stopping. Her attire was simple but elegant; a deep purple and white plaid button down that hugged her form along with dark washed skinny jeans were finished off with purple peep toe pumps and some white earrings. She had made sure to wear a matching panties and bra set. Opening her phone, she noticed that she had 2 missed calls and a text message from her daughter and a text message from Rosalie. She ignored the messages from Renesmee, the pain of betrayal still too fresh. She instead jumped to Rose's text.

**Where are u?! Mom said u left…?**

She sighed for a long moment, contemplating a reply. She settled on one and let her fingers do the quick typing on the keypad.

**Yea, hoppin around. In England 4 now.**

She noted before she closed her phone that it was time for her to get going. She grabbed her keys, fake ID, and a few notes before she walked out the front door, locked it, and headed downstairs to hail a cab. Once she managed to flag one down, she got in and told the cabbie the address.

The stench of the cab was barely able to conceal the smell of his blood. She should have fed before going out, but it was too late now. He acknowledged her request with a grunt before taking off but she could see him look at her in his rearview with a questioning glance. She didn't care. Who was he to judge her?

It took them ten minutes before they reached her destination. She paid him for the ride, and then politely requested that he stay here for about 3 hours or until she came out again for him. She told him that she would pay him the equivalent of his overtime income to wait if he accepted half of it now and the other half of the payment after dropping her off. He consented swiftly and she paid him the promised amount.

"If I come out here to find you gone, I will remember your face and search all of England until I find you and make you repay me. Am I understood?" She said coolly but with enough malice to induce fear. He looked at the change in her face and shrunk in his seat while he nodded quickly.

Deciding she had made her point well known, Bella coolly stepped out of the car and walked toward the dark painted building whose entrance was being guarded by a tall, muscular man. She calmly walked up to him and gave him her ID and the money to pay the cover charge. He gave her a once-over, glanced at her ID to determine her age, and gently pushed away the hand holding out her money to him.

"Manager says no cover for women above an 8."

She flashed him a fake smile, which held just a touch of flirty in its curve. It never hurt to be on a bouncer's good side.

"Oh yeah? And what am I?" She tucked the money into her bra, noticing that his eyes followed her action to her cleavage.

He looked at her with the usual face of a bouncer: calm eyes looking for danger behind a mask void of emotion. Only instead of the full mask, his face showed a small smirk.

"You, dear, are a 12 conservatively. Just make sure not to leave them broken hearted in there or else I'll have to clear you out."

Internally she scoffed. If she truly wanted to stay, there was no way even this muscular human could move her. Still, she played along with the game and forced a sickly sweet smile on her face.

"Of course not! I'd never do such a thing."

He smirked back and moved so as to give her room to walk inside.

Once inside she immediately took inventory of every living being in the club. There were at least 40 people dancing on the dance floor, about 15 women nursing drinks at the bar, and another 10 or so were smoking cigarettes at the outside lounge area. She found an empty spot at the bar and planted herself to do some short surveillance.

Some women openly stared at her, unable to take their eyes away. Others checked her out from the corners of their eyes. A few had not noticed her yet but she saw their friends informing them of "_that hot brunette that just walked in._"

She turned around to face the bar and signaled for the bartender to come her way. When she did, Bella asked politely for water with lemon. The bartender nodded and filled her order within moments. She let the drink sit on its paper napkin, twirling the condensation around on the glass with her forefinger. She took hold of it then and rotated herself around to look again for a girl…for a victim.

She studied each woman that met her gaze. Brunettes, butches, women with raven hair, and women with pixie cuts were immediately rejected. This was a night to forget. Upon her second look over of the room she had narrowed it down to two choices: a pretty blonde who was sending her signals across the room, and the red head next to her who was idly talking to her friend but keeping her body attentive to Bella's every move.

She quickly made her choice and turned her gaze to a spot somewhere between the DJ and the door leading to the smoking section. She relaxed her stance and twirled her finger around the top of her water while enjoying the cool feeling the ice gave her. Now all she had to do was wait.

She sat still, making sure to consciously blink and fidget every once in a while. In her peripheral vision she could see her victim caught between making a move on her and continuing her conversation with the woman in front of her. Bella just crossed her legs slowly and leaned back in her seat, making sure to give the woman a good view of her chest.

The woman leaned over towards her and rested a hand on Bella's shoulder.

"I've never seen you around here. Are you new?" The girl shouted over the loud music, but Bella would've heard her if the woman had whispered. Still, she had to keep up appearances so she raised her voice a bit in her reply.

"Maybe you've just missed me." She glanced slowly at the woman, making sure to keep eye contact for just a moment too long.

The woman's eyes raked over her figure visibly now, and Bella didn't have to be able to read thoughts to know what she was thinking; there was no way this woman had missed someone like her.

Bella wasn't conceited by any means. Far from it, in fact. She was, however, very observant of patterns in things she did. Every woman she had ever slept with had told her in so many words how beautiful and sexy she was. Bella had always shrugged the compliments off, but she had cataloged enough conversations to recognize that same look when she came across it. This was one of those moments.

The woman leaned in further still and spoke. "I don't think I missed you."

Bella just shrugged her shoulders in response. The less she said the more they were intrigued anyways. She kept herself turned towards the red head to let her know that she was still interested regardless of the indifference she was showing. She was slipping up; anymore and the woman would move on. She leaned to the woman and made sure that her hand touched the red head's hip while she balanced on her barstool.

"Dance with me?" She whispered throatily in the woman's ear, making sure to let her lips graze the outer shell.

If it was possible the woman almost melted at Bella's touch and nodded. Bella stood and grabbed the red head's hand, dragging her to the very center of the dance floor.

In her human years, Bella had been the very definition of klutz. After being turned, however, she'd had to practice keeping her accidents to a minimum. It wasn't that she could get hurt, but that she would hurt someone or break something in front of someone and then have to lie her way out of the situation. It had happened a few times before she had fully mastered it.

One time she had just tripped over her own feet and tumbled into a wall of one of their old high schools. She'd had to lie and say there was already a large crack in the wall and her fall must have been the last straw for the support structure. Needless to say, Bella was as graceful as any other Cullen now.

Bringing her mind back to the task at hand, she spun herself around to face her partner on the dance floor. The red head looked at her steadily, supposedly ready for whatever she thought Bella would bring. Bella smiled to herself. This woman was in for quite a night…

Bella brought her arms to the woman's hips and pulled herself into the welcoming embrace. She sashayed her way down the red head's body before turning herself around and rubbing her backside the entire length of the woman, making sure to push herself further into the red head when she reached the woman's pelvis. She could hear the red head suppress a moan before greedily bringing her arms to Bella's hips and pulling her even closer.

She turned herself around again before continuing to grind herself into the red head's front. When there was a lull between song changes, Bella put her mouth against the woman's ear again.

"What's your name?" She said softly while she dragged a single digit down the woman's bare arm, lightly scratching the skin with her nail.

The woman shivered and visibly swallowed at the action. "Elizabeth. You can call me Liz though."

Bella laughed, bringing her lips down from the red head's ear to her neck, where she could smell and feel the blood pumping violently through her jugular. She sniffed at the woman's neck, enjoying the scent of the raw blood flowing freely underneath the thin membrane. Venom pooled in her mouth and she had to swallow it forcefully down her burning throat. She should have fed before coming. Oh well, Bella thought idly, too late now.

Her lips descended on the bare skin again, raking her teeth lightly over the woman's neck before sucking softly on the pulse point. Liz's moan brought Bella out of her brief moment of blood lust and she carefully took her head away from the tempting area.

She continued to dance her way around the red head, making sure to keep their bodies constantly touching in an erotic way that wasn't too straightforward about her intentions. The woman was practically moaning at every sensation Bella sent on her skin. Oh, yes…her plan was in full swing.

Bella noted that her partner was looking more than dazed and asked if the woman needed a drink. Liz smiled lazily, nodded, and took Bella's hand as the vampire led the two to the bar.

"What do you want?" Bella half yelled, pretending to strain over the music.

Liz smiled and wrapped her arms around Bella's slim waist.

"Well, I'd like a lot of things…" She paused for effect and looked Bella's body up and down hungrily. "But if you mean what I want to drink, I'll have a Sex on the Beach please."

Bella just nodded at the request and instructed the bartender to ready the drink. When Bella handed the drink to Liz, the red head downed it without a second thought. Bella looked on without interest. She was ready to go.

When Liz put the empty glass down on the counter, Bella tugged the woman to her body gently, catching her when she stumbled slightly. A chuckle escaped her lips.

The woman rested her head on Bella's shoulder while she hugged Bella's torso closer to her chest. Her lips were brushing up and down Bella's neck. The brunette rested her hands softly at the base of Liz's back.

"Let's take this back to my flat…" Liz whispered against the pale collarbone she was kissing before bringing her face back up to look Bella in the eye. Hazel eyes clouded with lust and alcohol stared into deep gold orbs. Those eyes were nothing like the honey eyes she loved to see stare back…

No. That was in the past. Alice was in the past. It was time to _move on_. Away from the pain.

She didn't need to make a decision. In Bella's eyes there was no other option. She allowed the red head to drag her outside. Just when Liz was ready to hail a cab, Bella grabbed Liz and shook her head before walking them both towards the taxi waiting in the parking lot. Liz looked at her with an odd expression. Bella ignored the look and ushered the woman into the car before getting in and shutting the door.

Liz gave the cabbie her address and soon they were speeding down cobblestone roads.

Bella held Liz close as the red head let her hands roam the length of her body, only stopping when Bella finally turned towards her and placed small kisses and light nibbles down her neck to the bit of chest that was exposed.

Fragile hands laced through her hair and pulled her closer. She felt rather than heard the moan emanate from Liz's chest. In no time the vehicle slowed to a stop. Bella hurriedly paid the driver and the two paused outside only long enough for Liz to unlock her front door.

Bella was all instinct now. She allowed herself no thought as clothes were shed on the way to what she assumed was Liz's bedroom. When Liz finally fell asleep after hours of…activities…Bella finally allowed herself some time to think, to grieve. And she did. Lying there in an unfamiliar bedroom, Bella squeezed her eyes shut and made herself relive every memory she had of Alice. It almost made her feel as if the woman in her arms was the pixie-like vampire.

Almost.

--

The next morning Liz woke up to strange, cold arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a cold leg nestled between her own. Her head pounded with a hangover.

She groaned into the still morning air.

The arms around her tightened enough to let her know that the other woman was awake as well. What was her name again? God Almighty, she couldn't remember. This wasn't going to be a good morning.

Just as the thought passed through her pounding head, lips as soft as silk kissed their way from her shoulder down her arm before they stopped at her fingers. Her body shivered with the cold. The lust that had been sated last night was back full force with each pass of those heated lips. What was that blasted woman's name?!

"Good morning." The voice belonging to the other woman was smooth and soft, as soft as those kisses rained upon her skin moments ago.

"Mmm, morning." She said, her own voice gravelly with the cotton mouth of her hangover and of sleep. "God, my head is pounding."

There was a low, rich chuckle from behind her. "I figured that you would have a hangover, so I took the liberty of getting you a glass of water and some Tylenol from your medicine cabinet. I hope you don't mind."

She looked up at her nightstand. Sure enough, there was a freshly filled glass of water and a couple of tablets sitting right next to it. She was filled with sudden warmth at the kindness of the stranger in her bed.

"No, thank you." She was still half-asleep and so moved to grab the glass and tablets, pulling herself away from the limbs encasing her while she downed the drugs and gulped down the water. The loss of the contact made her rush back into bed and snuggle back into the woman's chest under the covers. Another chuckle broke loose from behind her at her antics but at the moment she didn't care. The chill of the brunette's body was refreshing.

The hands that had previously encircled her were now tracing patterns on her shoulder blade while the other was splayed across her abdomen. She almost moaned at the intimate contact. She had to get this blasted woman's name! They had only been together for a night and she was already making Liz crazy with desire.

"I had a good time last night. Unfortunately I don't think I caught your name…" She said sheepishly as she hid her blush in her pillow.

Surprisingly strong arms turned her around so that she was facing the brunette. Who was very much still naked. She almost moaned at the site before her. The curtains were closed so there was no light coming in, but Liz could still see the outline of a "Perfect 8" figure lying next to her. She licked her lips at the thought of what that body looked like in the light.

The woman cleared her throat softly and Liz's blush was back even more so. She looked embarrassingly into deep pools of amber. The woman closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When they opened again, a smile broke on her face. Even in the dark the woman's face was breathtaking.

"Bella."

She fell out of her stupor.

"Huh?" She said dumbly.

If possible the woman's smile spread even wider.

"My name; it's Bella."

Oh.

"Oh. Right then…" She went to look away, but a hand found its way to her chin. It guided her to look into those ridiculously beautiful eyes again. She bit her lip to keep herself sane.

Those eyes darted down to the lip between her teeth before they traveled up again.

Then Bella was moving toward her and Liz thought she would take forever to reach her, until lips finally met hers and she nearly sighed into the kiss.

The feel of this kiss wasn't anything like last night, or what little she could remember of it. This kiss was almost tangibly sad in the way Bella's lips moved against hers and the way her tongue asked for permission. She readily granted it and their tongues dueled. She wrapped her arms around Bella's neck and pulled her closer so that the other woman was almost on top of her. She tugged a little again and Bella got the hint, smiling into their kiss, and granted Liz her silent request. Their bodies met again in a clash of utter passion.

By the time Liz and Bella had finished another round of activities it was nearly 3 o'clock. She pulled a sheet around her body and made her way to the kitchen to find something for the both of them to eat.

She reached the pantry and began looking through her options. Finding some eggs and bread she set them out. A boiled egg and some toast sounded wonderful.

"What do you want to eat?" She yelled out down the hallway.

Arms wrapped around her quickly and she had to stifle a gasp of surprise.

Lips once again found their way to her ear. "I ran home to eat while you slept."

A frown formed on her face in confusion. "Why did you go home? You could've just eaten something here. I mean, it's not like I would've minded or anything." She said laughing.

She felt the brunette shake her head in the crook of her neck. "I'm allergic to anything with glucose in it. I have a really strict diet."

Ouch. She immediately felt guilty. "Oh God I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to-"

She was silenced as the brunette spun her around quick enough to make her dizzy. If that wasn't enough, Bella kissed her forcefully. Again this kiss felt full, too full for a kiss shared by two people who were practically strangers. There was an almost desperate air to the way Bella held her, as if she was trying to keep herself firmly planted in reality. Could Bella be running from something?

But then Bella's hands made quick work of the knot holding the sheet around her and the thoughts she was previously stuck on fell away. The pair stumbled back to the bedroom, never once breaking apart.

The eggs and bread lied on the countertop, forgotten.

--

The next few days passed in the same manner. Bella would leave after Liz fell asleep and return in the early morning, wherein upon waking her Bella and she would spend hours holed up in the bedroom before they made their way to any other part of the home. Liz, Bella learned, was on a sabbatical from her teaching job at the local university to try out new things and explore life however she felt like.

The routine was getting old to Bella already. Or could it just be the person she was in the routine with? She didn't know and didn't care. She was living moment to moment, never thinking ahead more than a couple of hours.

She could tell that Liz wanted to ask her about her past again but Bella could see that she was trying not to pry. The first time she had brought it up was the first morning after they had went to the bedroom a second time. Bella's eyes glazed over and a deep sorrow overwhelmed her so much that she was silent for the whole day until she could get her emotions in check. Liz hadn't asked again after that although Bella could see the curiosity threatening to erupt.

On the fifth day of her stay, Bella told Liz that she would be going home for a couple of days. Her furniture would have arrived already and she needed to get some other house items before she began decorating her flat. Liz just smiled and nodded. She was so easy to get along with, so easy to be around. Bella supposed that was why she had stayed so long. Being around Liz meant she didn't have to think about Alice.

Alice.

She winced. The pain returned anew; it had been almost a full 2 hours since she had last thought of her. It seemed as if the gap had intensified her anguish and increased it tenfold. She grimaced and told Liz she was leaving. Liz hollered a goodbye from her bathroom. Bella grabbed her things and walked outside to hail a cab.

--

Once she was back at her flat, Bella decided to shower and go shopping for accessories for her bedroom and living room. She gathered some clothes out of her suitcase and stepped into the bathroom.

After she had dried her hair Bella headed downstairs to walk downtown. She shopped for a few hours, picking up this and that at that store and this little thing at the store over there. She stopped by a bookstore and picked up a few books she hadn't read yet and made her way back to the flat.

Once she was home, Bella began putting her new items away. She finished around 9 in the evening and decided that she would read a book. Picking up one of the new ones she had just purchased she settled down on the floor in her bedroom to read for the night.

When it was an acceptable time in the morning Bella called Liz.

"Hey, Liz. What are you up to?"

The excitement bubbled over the phone line. "Hi Bella! Nothing much, just thought I'd do some cleaning since we weren't exactly focused on that the past few days…"

She smirked. "Well, once you're done I think I should take you on a proper date. What do you think?"

The other woman barely let her finish her sentence before happily consenting.

They agreed to meet at a little Italian restaurant around 5 and then go see a play after dinner. Bella said that since she wouldn't be eating, the restaurant was more for Liz than herself. Bella could almost hear the smile on the other end of the line.

"That's sweet of you. Okay, I've got to go if I'm going to finish all of this and get ready in time. I'll see you then."

Bella smiled and said goodbye before hanging up the phone. Perfect. The furniture would be at her flat around 2, which gave her an hour to bring it inside and another 30 minutes to organize it around the rooms. That would give her an hour to get ready and a half hour to get to the restaurant.

She made quick work of the furniture when it arrived and was just hopping in a cab at 4:15. She was early when she got to the restaurant and gave the maitre' D her name upon walking in. When Liz arrived the two were seated.

The date was like every other date Bella had been on: shallow questions were asked with a deep one thrown in every now and again. Bella fed some of Liz's food to her and when she was finished they headed to the theatre. The play was decent; the characters could have put in a little more emotion but it was all right nonetheless. The entire length of the play Liz had kept contact with her somehow; a hand on her leg, her head leaning on a shoulder. When the play was over Bella and Liz shared a cab to Liz's place.

When the cabbie slowed to a stop in front of Liz's home, the red head looked to Bella shyly.

"I know we've kind of already done this step, but would you like to come in?"

Bella gave her a small smile. "I would love to, but I'm getting up early tomorrow for a job interview." It wasn't a terrible lie. She just didn't want to have sex tonight.

The entire date reminded her of her life before…Of the life she had before she told Alice everything.

Alice…

She blinked her eyes to rid the miserable thoughts swirling within and focused again on the red head sitting next to her.

_Move on_.

"But…" Bella said ominously. "I would love to make it up to you some other time."

Liz's face lit up again. "Okay, sounds great."

Bella got out of the cab to open the door for Liz. "Allow me to walk you to your door, ma'am?" She held out her hand to the red head.

Liz giggled like a schoolgirl before taking the offered hand. "Okay."

When they reached Liz's door, Bella kissed her softly.

"I had a nice time tonight. Thank you for agreeing to come out with me."

Another giggle. "It was my pleasure."

"I'll call you some time soon."

"Okay. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight."

Bella smiled before turning to go. She gave the cabbie her address and waited until they stopped to pay him for the ride. She fished for her keys in her purse. Upon finding them she proceeded to walk up the stairs to her door. When she unlocked her door and stepped inside a smell immediately assaulted her senses.

There, in the dark, sat a figure so familiar to her that even blinded she could recognize her.

The name fell from her lips in a whisper before she realized she had even said anything.

"Alice…"

The figure sat unmoving, staring at her with piercing golden eyes. Then she spoke, her voice clear as bells chiming.

"Hello, Bella."


	6. Talk to Me

Many thanks to all you readers who have been [[not so]] patiently waiting for my next update and have let me know lol. Also, shout outs to Ansacht and Alex Belle for taking the time to shower me with compliments and for keeping me motivated. :D Oh, and suspenceme is awesome.

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns.

* * *

Bella's fists clenched at her sides, her fingers digging into her flesh. Her emotions were running wild inside but pain was prevailing above the others. Why would Alice find her? She had already made her decision by not saying anything when Bella had confronted her with her feelings. There was no reason for her to be here. Bella had told her she'd leave Alice alone so that she could attempt to salvage her marriage.

Seeing Alice again brought the pain back tenfold. By not seeing the pixie constantly she was able to at least forget about her shattered heart and focus on mundane things in the present. Bella had known from the beginning that she would be broken; it was inevitable with Alice still in love with Jasper. The only thing she had tried to do after leaving America was attempt to not focus on her broken mind at all times of the day.

Alice had to have known all of this because she knew how Bella was. With everything she had learned about her in the past 60 years, what would make her think it was okay to find her? She had no right.

She had NO right.

But still, seeing Alice sitting in her flat made her heart soar. Somewhere deep inside of her wanted to instead forget about the pain of seeing her again and rush to hug her but the grief wouldn't let her embrace anything else. Alice had let her go; Alice didn't want anything to do with her.

The pain inside of her welled up now and twisted violently before turning swiftly into blinding rage. She was barely able to clamp down on the growl that threatened to erupt from her chest.

She took several calming breaths but each one was tainted with Alice's scent. Alice's wonderful scent…

_Stop it_, she told herself once she was in control of her emotions. Carefully she took half a step backward towards her front door.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was laced with pain and sorrow.

The other woman stood, taking her time in getting up from the chair she had occupied. It was almost as if she didn't want to spook Bella and make her run…then again she was probably afraid of that exact thing happening.

Once she was standing at her full height Alice whispered a reply.

"Can we talk? Please?" Pleading eyes met barely controlled storms of honey.

Bella blew out an exasperated breath. Despite her never ending stamina she was exhausted. Trying to move on and get through the pain of her broken heart was taxing and it was visible in her stance; her shoulders were slumped and her back curved with the invisible weight holding her down.

Alice noted all the indicators of emotional weariness that Bella exhibited and took them into account. She had to convince Bella to at least hear her out even if it took every trick she knew.

Moments passed without a word being exchanged. Finally Bella broke the tense silence with a heavy sigh. She walked to her new couch and sat down, feeling her weight sink into the leather. She remained rigid, however, not wanting to give Alice the idea that she was comfortable with the situation.

Alice cleared her throat nervously. "Right," she muttered, "guess I'll get to it then."

Bella continued her emotionless gaze at the pixie. The look told Alice that Bella was trying to not care, but she knew better. She knew Bella.

She fidgeted in her spot a little; the dull gaze was almost too much for her.

"Where do you want me to start, Bella?" She said inquiringly. She wanted to give the woman the opportunity to control this situation, for Alice knew she was at her mercy now.

A brief flicker of thought flashed through honey eyes across from her.

"How about telling me why you're here? Considering you didn't exactly say much when I said…after I told you everything." Bella's voice caught. Deeply rooted pain was so visible on her face that it took Alice's breath away to view it. God, what had she done?

Alice worried, her lip between her teeth for a moment while she tried to get her speech together. She had searched for a vision of how this was going to play out but nothing had surfaced. She would just have to speak from her heart and hope that Bella would give her another chance.

"Okay. You want to know why I'm here now to talk instead of saying anything when you came to the house, right?" She received a short nod in reply so she went on.

"There are a few reasons for that. As much as I would love to shorten them I'm sure you want to hear it all so I'll tell you everything. It's the least you deserve after confessing your secret to me."

Alice took a moment to relax in her seat, burrowing herself into the smooth leather before continuing on.

"I had the vision of you coming to me weeks before you actually had, but it wasn't final until Renesmee practically pushed you to do it that morning. By the way, I've yet to see her and I'm letting you know now what she did to you was horrible and I plan on putting her over my knee for doing it, daughter of yours or not." She looked Bella in the eye, making sure the woman knew she was serious.

She received a scathing glare in response. "I would rather we not talk about the mistakes my daughter has made in the past few months or else I will lose my temper, which I really don't want to do at the moment."

Hm. It seemed that she and Bella were of the same mind on that topic. Alice nodded to her not-so-subtle demand.

"Jasper and I had already been fighting when I had the vision of you visiting me. It only made things end quicker. I won't lie and say that you weren't the reason for our break up, because you were Bella. It just wasn't in the way you think." She took this moment to look again into the golden eyes across the room. They were laced with underlying confusion.

"You don't know how I think I broke you up." She stated in a sure tone.

Alice laughed then, a deep laugh coming from her belly.

"Bella, have you really already forgotten that I know you the better than everyone, sometimes even better than yourself? If I have to guess, I'll say that you think you broke Jasper and I up because he could feel your love for me and at the same time could feel that I was 'slipping away' from him."

Bella stared at her with her mouth open, shock prevalent on her face. "Wha-? How?" She stuttered.

Alice beamed. "I told you: I know you better than anyone."

Bella closed her gaping mouth and retorted hotly, "Well, that wasn't all of it actually. Renesmee told me that Jasper had felt something coming from _you_ that he shouldn't have which put you on the rocks in the beginning. Mind telling me what that was?" She asked in a smart tone.

It was Alice's turn to sigh. This was where things could go wrong. "Love."

Confusion swept over the brunette's face again, even more so this time than the last.

"What do you mean, love? Are you…" Bella's eyes were pained. "Are you in love with someone else?"

Alice whispered an affirmative. The life seemed to drain out of Bella. It was almost as if the thought of Alice loving another person other than Jasper was too much. To Bella, Alice surmised, her loving Jasper was logical since they had been in love for so long but loving another person was ludicrous in Bella's mind. _Little does she know_, Alice thought to herself.

Confusion flared up over the angst in her friend's face. Bella looked up from her lap to question Alice. "Now I don't get how I broke you two up. Is there more than just Jasper feeling my emotions that you haven't told me?"

Alice turned her head downward to concentrate on the pattern of her dark washed jeans. She didn't want to look Bella in the eye anymore; it was getting to be too much. "Yes," she said softly. "It's you."

Out of the corner of her eye Alice could see Bella's eyes trained on her like a hawk circling its prey.

"What's me?" She said sharply.

Alice swallowed. "The person I'm in love with. It's you."

Bella stood up so fast she knocked the entire sofa backwards. "You have got to be freaking kidding me." Her hands were clenched at her sides. Alice could tell that she was barely controlling herself.

"What the hell, Alice?! You let me put my heart in the open like that and don't even mention the fact that you're in love with me too?! WHAT THE HELL?!"

Bella's temper was finally showing itself. When she spoke next her voice was deadly calm.

"Out of all people, I never expected you to be the type to lie to someone about something so hurtful. Renesmee blackmailing me was a shock, but it pales in comparison to the pain you've apparently only begun to put me through."

Now Alice looked up into electric pools of gold. "Please Bella," she pleaded, "You have every right to be angry, but please hear me out first."

Burning gold met imploring amber in a stand-off. A strangled sigh escaped Bella's throat. She stood there for some moments; her fists at her side clenched tightly as she reined in the anger within. The entire time their eyes stayed on one another.

Finally she loosened her fists and righted the sofa before sitting back down.

"Talk." Bella said tersely.

Alice let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. "The reason I didn't say anything was because I thought I could still work things out with Jasper. We'd been together more than a century. It devastated me to lose him. I thought I was in love with him."

She played with the hem of her shirt. "It was the last straw, really; my vision of your confession. He thought that I would just turn to you then and leave him by the wayside."

Bella interjected. "Why would he think that you'd leave him just because I would confess my feelings to you?"

She offered Bella an indulgent smile then. "Remember that he knew that I was in love with you. Really, if you had known Edward was in love with someone other than you for ten years of the time you were together and you found out that the person was going to confess the reciprocated feelings to him wouldn't you have been paranoid?"

Bella stared at her. "Ten years?" She murmured. "You've loved me for ten years?"

Alice bit her lip and nodded, waiting for the anger she was sure would erupt. Instead she heard Bella whisper her name from across the room. She looked up in response to see Bella clenching her teeth. Alice knew that when Bella exhibited this habit during her human years that she was trying not to cry. The habit was still ingrained in her regardless of the fact that she could no longer weep.

"Why didn't you ever say anything? Why couldn't you at least tell me? Do you have any idea…" Bella's voice faded as her strength left her. She looked so depressed in that moment that all Alice wanted to do was hold the pained brunette in her arms. She forced herself to stay rooted in place.

Alice's voice was soft in its reply. "Because like I said, I thought I was in love with Jasper."

Swirling golden orbs of heart wrenching emotion trained their focus on her.

"You thought you were in love with him? You've been together for decades. How could you not love him?"

The corners of Alice's lips turned up in a small smile. "And what about you and Edward? Didn't you two go through the exact same thing? The only difference in my circumstances was that I never truly loved Jasper the way you two did and the same could be said for him. We've only both just realized it with this whole crazy situation."

Bella's eyes stayed on her as she leaned forward in her seat. "So you're saying this whole time you two were faking it and not telling anyone?"

Alice frowned and shook her head. "Of course not. We both truly believed we loved each other in the romantic sense but it pretty much took me falling in love with you for us to realize that we were only with one another as a pseudo-mate, so to speak."

Bella just continued to stare at her, not breathing or moving. Alice felt uncomfortable in the steely gaze she was under but refused to shift. She deserved the scrutiny. Hell, she deserved anything Bella did to her for what she had put the woman through.

Bella took a deep breath then and closed her eyes, shedding some of the more obvious tension held in her shoulders. She opened her eyes to stare Alice in the eye once more.

"That still doesn't explain why you're here. You rejected me, Alice. You rejected me when I told you, _to your face_, that I was in love with you. You honestly cannot have thought to come here and expect that I would forgive you immediately and we'd live happily ever after?" It sounded more like a statement than a question, but Alice knew Bella was truly curious to what the pixie was thinking.

She met the honey orbs across the room in fierce determination. "I love you Bella. If you don't want to be with me, I will understand that. You deserve to be happy. But if there is even a remote possibility that you'll give me another chance I will try with everything I am to show you how important you are to me. I will keep trying until you believe me. If you tell me today though that there is no chance for us I will leave you alone to live your life."

Bella kept up her hardened gaze and Alice felt as if she were an ant being looked upon with a magnifying glass. Moments passed in silence and Alice couldn't stand it anymore. The pixie-like vampire looked down at her lap and gathered up the courage to speak again.

"Is this a lost cause? Am I fighting for something I have no chance at?" She asked daringly, her voice cracking at the last few words. Her hands were shaking. She tucked them under her legs. She almost missed the reply that was barely audible even to her hyperaware senses.

"No."

Alice's eyes snapped to the beautiful brunette in front of her. Her mouth hung open slightly.

Bella looked at her and cleared her throat awkwardly. "We both know I still…care…about you, but I'm actually seeing someone whose company I enjoy greatly."

Alice's face fell. The unbridled joy she had felt not even seconds ago had disappeared and unparalleled pain filled its void. Bella already had someone new…

"So…where does that leave me?" The shorthaired woman asked uncomfortably.

"I don't know. I have every intention of seeing whatever it is with this woman through. I'd still like to see you every now and again, though…if that's all right with you. Maybe just go shopping sometimes or something…start from scratch."

Alice sighed. She mustered enough strength to put a smile on her face but from Bella's facial expression the brunette knew it was forced. "That sounds…perfect. As long as you want me around I'll be happy."

Bella looked uncomfortable then and tore her eyes away from the figure in front of her. She seemed to be contemplating something and before she knew it Alice was suddenly assaulted with a vision.

_They were sitting in Bella's living room when the awkward silence was broken by Bella's phone ringing. She darted towards the sound, picked up the phone, and answered smoothly._

"_Hey, you." She said softly, a small smile coming to her face as the woman on the other end greeted her as well. Alice's slightly hopeful mood immediately took a nosedive as reality was forced upon her with Bella's content smile at her lover's phone call._

_She stood up to leave but Bella looked at her for a moment and held up her finger as a signal to wait. The taller brunette talked for a few minutes with the woman on the other end and then ended the call._

_Bella put the phone in her pocket and looked towards Alice. "I just wanted to say…thanks, I guess. For telling me the truth."_

_Alice allowed herself a small smile towards the object of her affection. "It wasn't anything you didn't already deserve, Bella. But I should be going. I need to get a place to stay and go shopping for furniture and clothes." Her tone rose in excitement at the last part of her statement, which caused Bella to chuckle regardless of the tension. The taller woman walked the pixie to her front door and opened it for her. _

_Alice paused before walking out of the flat. "Thank you for letting me talk, Bella. Really." Soft gold reflected the sincerity in the pixie's words. Bella took her hand off the doorknob and let her arm rest at her side. The brunette only nodded in response._

_Alice fidgeted in the threshold, torn between asking Bella something and leaving. Her mouth seemed to make the decision for her when she found herself speaking the brunette's name. _

"_Bella…?" Her hand touched the taller woman's arm as a request for the brunette to look at her. When the woman in question turned her eyes up, Alice was suddenly struck at how beautiful Bella looked. Without thinking Alice brought her hands to cup both sides of Bella's face. Her eyes looked to Bella's to see her reaction. Seeing no immediate rejection, the pixie moved closer, her lips a scant centimeter from Bella's own. _

_Without meaning to, Bella gravitated further towards Alice's lips. A decade long fantasy was about to be fulfilled and Bella's every nerve felt as if it were on fire. Alice moved forward just barely and with her momentum put those lips, full and moist, on her own._

Alice blinked multiple times to bring herself back to the present and to calm her suddenly anxious body. Bella noticed the telltale signs of Alice having a vision and gave her a moment to collect herself.

Once Alice had her body under control, she stood up and started quickly to the door. As much as she wanted to kiss Bella, Alice didn't want to scare the younger woman off after only just getting on steady footing with her. Just before her hand was on the knob, Bella raced to her and grabbed her by the arm before forcefully turning the short woman around in her spot.

"What was _that_ all about?" Bella asked. Alice just shook her head and tried to get out of the taller woman's grasp. In response to the pixie's attempts, Bella grabbed Alice's other arm and pulled her closer so that the shorter woman was flush against her chest. Her body savored the feel of Alice pressed against her but her mind was determined to get the vision out of the pixie.

For all intents and purposes, Alice was trying to get away even though she was relishing the feel of Bella's body against her own. Eventually she gave up and went still in the brunette's grasp. "Trust me, you don't want to know." The raven-haired woman muttered.

Bella switched their positions so that she was closest to the door and let go of Alice's arms. The rough treatment wasn't working; she needed to switch tactics. "Please tell me?" She asked softly.

Alice took one glance at the woman's face and knew she was a goner. She turned around and began to pace. Bella just looked on in silent contemplation as she leaned against the door. Arms moving in rapid gestures, Alice started to talk in disjointed sentences.

"You were just…and I don't want to…But you were just _right there_…and it's not like you're easy to just ignore, you know? But you know I don't like to just put myself out there…"

Bella didn't understand and she told Alice so. The shorter woman just gave a groan of frustration, darted over to Bella and stopped just short of touching her.

"Good god, I had a vision of _this_!" She practically growled out before putting her hands at Bella's neck and pulling her down for a kiss.

Bella didn't think, couldn't think. Her mind was a sudden pool of Alice and she was drowning.

Her hands immediately found the slender hips of the shorter woman, gripping them tightly to hold purchase on something, on anything. And when a soft wet tongue darted out to ask for entrance, Bella moaned and nearly melted into the older woman's embrace. Her mind was nearly empty, save for the thought that she was finally feeling how perfect Alice felt against her.

Alice's mind was a whirlwind of emotion, but lust was beginning to take over her conscious mind. Her own hands threaded through wavy chocolate tresses and gasped when Bella allowed her entrance into her mouth. She pushed the taller woman further into the door, grinding their hips together in delicious friction. This motion caused another moan to fall from her partner's lips.

That moan was what broke Alice out of her lust-filled haze and back into reality. She extracted herself from the brunette's grasp and moved her out of the way of the door before quickly opening it and walking out without a word.

Breathing heavily from the lust driven haze she was still drowning in, Bella's mind was slowly coming back from its vacation and only one thought kept circling around inside…

_What the hell?!_


	7. Thorough Denial

Thanks to everyone waiting (maybe not so) patiently for this. If you need someone to blame for the tardiness of this chapter, it's definitely Ansacht's fault for not pushing me to go faster. :D haha just kiddin!

This is the longest chapter so far... Hope this makes up for making you all wait so long!

And as always, my beta can kick your beta's butt any day of the week. :)

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns.**

- NeedForChange22

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Alice was walking as slow as she could but the humans she was passing were still giving her incredulous looks. How could she have been so stupid?! What was wrong with her? She knew Bella had someone else in her life already. Just because she had that vision didn't mean that she had to make out with the woman then and there!

But feeling how Bella's lips felt in the vision got her thinking about how soft they would be in reality. It was then that Alice began her pacing in an attempt to gain control of her thundering hormones.

When Bella gave her _that look_, that insufferable look that could get her to practically commit murder if the brunette asked it, Alice had began to pace to stop from just taking her right then and there. She had been unable to form the right words for how she had felt after the vision.

Alice knew that Bella was with someone else, but that didn't stop the raging lust that had threatened to overwhelm her upon seeing the vision. Her desire and moral compass were clashing together within herself.

A large part of her wanted to let the vision play out but her conscious was telling her to fight it off, and that she was supposed to help keep Bella faithful to her girlfriend by not letting the kiss come to fruition. But then Bella said she hadn't understood her half ramblings and Alice finally got so frustrated with the whole situation that she had just went in for the kiss.

_Oh, and what a kiss it was…_ Alice thought dazedly. Kissing Bella was everything that she had dreamed it would be and more. Bella wasn't overly aggressive and yet wasn't submissive either. The brunette was tenderly proactive in expressing what she was feeling in the forms of breathy moans and a steady grip on Alice's hips. She was nothing but pure feeling for Bella during that kiss, all of her emotions melded together to express nothing but lust and love for the woman she held onto for dear life.

It was Bella's second moan that broke Alice out of her cloud of lust and cleared her head long enough to realize what she had done. Pulling herself away violently, disgusted with herself, Alice fled from the object of her affection and removed herself from any further temptation.

And here she was, walking around in the middle of the United Kingdom without a clue of what to do next. Bella said that she wanted to 'start over again' but what exactly did that mean? She knew that Bella had someone in her life, someone that she was serious enough about to say that they were involved.

She supposed that the next step would be to stick around, and that included renting a flat and buying furniture. Alice's eyes lit up at the prospect of shopping. She knew what she could do to distract herself for a few hours…

-Bella's Point Of View-

I've been unable to move from my position against the door for a while. I have no idea how long I've been standing here. The only thing that keeps running through my mind was that kiss, that _amazing_ kiss that has my knees feeling weak from just thinking about it.

Why did Alice just run off? Did I do something wrong? Was it not everything she thought it would be? The monster inside of me was threatening to let loose if I didn't feed soon, regardless of my sudden shock.

I needed to feed now or else things were going to get ugly quickly.

I focused myself on the little things around me to keep the bloodlust in check: the floors need to be swept, the walls need to be wiped down, and the sink in the kitchen was dripping. Outside my door, I could smell the faint traces of humans walking to their respective homes. My throat tightened painfully. The burning was beginning to be too much; I had to get out of here before I hurt someone.

I quickly put on some tennis shoes and laced them up while grabbing my keys. Hurrying outside to hail a cab, I waited impatiently for the yellow car to pull to the curb so I could get in. When I told her where to go, her eyes snapped to me in the rear view mirror. I swallowed the mouthful of venom and glared at her.

Jesus, it was too fucking confined in here. This human's scent was clouding my senses. It would only take a hand grabbing at the simple metal separating us and then she could be mine, her blood flowing into my mouth…

_JESUS CHRIST GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, CULLEN. NOW. _My sane mind was fighting valiantly against the animal inside.

My tongue ran over my incisors on instinct. I could feel more venom pooling in my mouth.

I felt my hand moving from its place at my side towards the metal mesh keeping me from that alluring blood. In just a few seconds she could be mine…she could be dead…

I clamped down on a growl that rumbled through my chest and pushed my whole body against the fabric seat in an attempt to control it. I would NOT kill this human being.

The loud _bing_ of my phone signaling a text message distracted me for the moment. I hurriedly fished it out of my pocket and flipped it open, looking to see that it was a text message from Alice. My emotions went wild for a moment and I was again reminded of the painful burn in my throat. I quickly opened the text.

**Saw it in a vision – ur not going 2 kill her.**

I swallowed again and closed my eyes. Without looking I asked the driver if we could roll down the windows. I could practically feel the incredulous look again, but didn't try to open my mouth in case I try to pounce on her.

Suddenly ice-cold wind was whipping through the cab, gloriously void of human scent. I took in a few deep breaths. The hunger was ten times worse than before I had left the flat but at least I wasn't about to kill this poor woman anymore.

Having reined in my monster, I silently thanked whatever higher deity exists that I was able to control the painful desire. I needed to focus all of my energy on something else other than the deliciously tempting blood scant feet away, though, or else the situation could get much more dangerous.

I ran through focus topics. I was still too mad and hurt to even think about Renesmee, and the Cullen's were out of the question as well. Alice was a Cullen, and I'd be damned if I thought about her right now. _Come on, Bella, you have to have __something__ that can take up your thoughts for a while_.

Suddenly I saw a redhead in my mind. Perfect. Liz wasn't serious enough of a topic to get my completely immersed in my thoughts but was just enough to put me out of my bloodlust until the car ride was over.

Liz was beautiful in her own right. She wasn't overpoweringly breathtaking, but she had a hidden beauty within that drew me in that night at the bar. I didn't let her take me home because she was good looking or because she was practically eye fucking me; it was because even when she was clouded with lust she seemed interested in _me._ She wanted to know who I was and where I came from but she didn't push it when I refused to offer any information. That fact alone was enough for me to be drawn to her.

I soon learned after turning into a vampire that almost every human shied away from our very presence and wanted nothing to do with us. Don't get me wrong, I understood what they went through once I started dating Edward, but experiencing it is entirely different from knowing about it.

I felt the cab slow to an eventual stop and was happy to notice foliage on all sides of the dirt road we were on. Relief washed through me as I realized that I hadn't killed the female driver. I paid her for the ride, thanked her and got out of the car.

After I was sure she was out of viewing distance, I took off my shoes and outermost garments. They always got dirty and in the way during the hunt, and I wanted to return to the city looking better than a homeless person.

Once I was stripped to my camisole and boyshort panties, I walked quietly through the forest, trying to get a track going of any local animals. Immediately I sensed that there was a herd of cattle northwest and possibly a couple of deer north or northeast of my current position. Deciding on the larger group, I ran briskly through the trees, at times pausing to make sure I was on the right scent.

When I came to the outside of their herd I immediately jumped into a tree to leave my scent high enough to not scare them away. Cows weren't my favorite but at the moment I couldn't be picky. I had already given the beast within me total control the moment the cab was out of sight and let its natural instincts guide me as I jumped from the branch I was perched on down to the prey below.

They never stood a chance against me. I landed straight on the back of an animal, wrapped my hands around its neck and twisted. Its bones snapped and its body fell lifelessly to the ground; I cringed. I wanted this life but it didn't mean that I liked killing any more than the next person, even if it was my only food source.

The other animals quickly noticed something was wrong and immediately began to run. I left the dead animal I had pounced and ran after another one, a larger female. I did the same as the first, quickly snapping her neck. I picked up the second body and placed it carefully with the first. I sat down in front of the animals and pet their soft hides, feeling the smooth rippled muscles underneath.

I offered up a prayer to the higher deity apologizing for having to take more lives, even if they were just animals. I gently lifted up the head of the animal nearest and bit down on the artery closest to the skin.

Glorious lifeblood pooled into my mouth and I immediately swallowed. I sucked more of the thick liquid down as the burning in my throat began to diminish. I finished with the first animal and quickly began on the second.

Once I was sated I sat back and observed the scene in front of me. Both animals looked as if they were simply lying down unless you noticed that their heads hung at odd angles or at their necks, which were lightly coated with blood. I felt something cool and wet hit my shoulder and upon looking up noticed that it was starting to rain.

I wasted no more time and began the clean up. I took a moment to listen for any larger animals. I noticed a small pack of wolves a while south of here. Hopefully they would be able to find the bodies for a meal. I found my clothes, put them on, and started heading towards town.

The burning in my throat had died down a few minutes into my run, so I was able to finally put my mind to things that were bothering me, like Alice's reaction to that kiss.

What exactly did that kiss mean? It had to be part of her vision, if not all of it. But why would she fight against it so hard in the beginning and then leave so quickly afterwards? It didn't make sense in the slightest…

I shook my head of the thoughts. Thinking of Alice for prolonged periods of time still made my chest clench painfully. I turned my thoughts to what I was going to do once I cleaned myself up. I guess I could call Liz and see what she had planned for the night.

Deciding that sounded like a good idea, I ran the rest of the way lost in thought of planning the date with Liz tonight, should she say yes. However, every few minutes Alice's face would bring itself to the front of my mind and I had to try even harder to just keep my mind on the date with Liz.

I noticed I was nearing the city's edge and slowed down considerably to a human-paced jog. Once I reached my apartment building I fished out my keys, opened the door, and made a straight shot to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, stripped my wet clothes off, jumped under the warm spray and made quick work of my hair and body. Once I was completely clean, I turned the water off, wrapped a towel around my body, dried my hair, and brushed my teeth.

Once I put on some light makeup, I searched through my suitcase for a suitable outfit and put it on over a pair of matching lace undergarments. I quickly looked around for my cell phone, not seeing it anywhere. After a look around I found it and dialed Liz's number.

"Hello?" I smiled; her voice was only slightly inquisitive. She must have either saw my number on caller ID or she was busy.

"Hey, you. What are you-" I was cut off as a massive noise sounded on the other end of the line before there was another loud bang, but this one I recognized as the phone dropping.

I could hear her swearing far off in the distance and couldn't help but chuckle. "Bloody hell! Oh bugger, hang on a minute Bella!" She yelled, presumably further away from the phone since her words echoed.

I waited patiently as she no doubt cleaned up whatever mess she had just encountered. After a few moments I heard jostling come across the receiver followed by an exasperated sigh. I laughed again.

"Oh, think that's funny, do you?" She said irritably.

"I do, because a long time ago I was just as much of a klutz as you." I said congenially.

"How do you know it was me being a klutz? For all you know someone could've been walking past me and spilled something all over me."

I barely concealed a snort. "Someone walked into you while you were in your house alone?"

She sputtered on the other end, clearly trying to regain her intellectual footing. "That's not the point. The point is you don't know how I fell, or even if I DID fall!"

I smiled and couldn't help the warm feeling that rose inside. "You're right. I admit defeat."

"About time," she said smugly. I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, was there something you called for other than to tell me I was right?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you were doing anything later tonight? Thought we could maybe catch a movie…" I said softly.

"Sure! What time were you thinking?"

I thought for a minute. "How does 8:00 sound? We can pick the movie when we get there."

"Sounds good. I'll pick you up for once."

I laughed at her attempt to 'even the score.' "Fine, but I insist on paying." After 60 years of building stock, bonds, and real estate, I had a few sizable accounts that were sitting around. It would be a shame to let her use her hard earned money on one silly date when I had thousands saved up.

A groan passed through the receiver and I knew before she said anything that I had her. "Must you always be so chivalrous?" I let loose another chuckle.

"Yes, I must. So just play along and let me have my fun."

She sighed. "I guess so. I'll see you at 8:00, then?"

"I will be ready with bells on." I said jovially, then said goodbye and hung up.

I looked around my apartment for something to do. The rooms were furnished but had no accessories. I sighed, that would be the next thing I had to shop for, but not right now. At the moment, all I wanted to do was zone out for a bit before the date with Liz.

Thinking quickly I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed out the door. Once I was outside I realized it was raining and I had no umbrella. Oh well, no use worrying about it now. I hurried to the antiques store down the street and walked inside. I perused the aisles until I found what it was that I wanted. I purchased the items and carried them to my apartment, where I began setting everything up.

When I was finished I put a disc in the player and turned it on. Michael Bublé started playing softly out of the stereo speakers; I sighed. There was almost nothing better than listening to relaxing music to wind down from a rough day.

I sat there, listening to the CD play over and over until my alarm went off, signaling that I had a few moments before Liz would arrive. I walked to the bathroom mirror to make sure my outfit was still perfect. I brushed my teeth again and when I was done I sat on the couch to wait.

Sure enough, a few minutes after 8:00 I heard a knock. I walked over and opened the door to reveal Liz in a black long peacoat and the barest hints of a green outfit underneath. I leaned in to kiss her cheek and ushered her inside.

"I'll be just another second. Take a look around if you'd like but it's not much."

She just nodded happily before wandering off down the hall.

I went to the coat closet and pulled out my only coat. Throwing it on, I looked around to find Liz, but I couldn't see her. I inhaled deeply and could smell her scent coming from near my room. I walked to my bedroom and observed her simply sitting on the edge of the bed; feet crossed at the ankle in perfect etiquette with her hands folded in her lap. She motioned me to sit next to her, so I did.

"Bella your apartment is beautiful."

I smiled humbly. "Thank you. It fulfills my needs well." She grabbed my hand and held it in her lap.

"Why are you always so cold?" She murmured, seemingly to no one. I shrugged my shoulders in a non-committed way. She sighed in such a way that it made me look at her. She seemed tense, and I wasn't sure what brought the sudden mood on.

"I know this is a little early to be having this conversation, but I was just wondering…what are we? I mean, like what are we relationship-wise? Are we friends? Are we more? Do you even _want_ us to be more?"

I squeezed her hand lightly to let her know I understood what she was asking. She looked at me expectantly, obviously awaiting an answer.

"I like you. I like who you are and how easy it is to be with you." I looked away. Should I tell her about Alice?

"Okay…and? What does that make us then? Because we're obviously attracted to each other…" I could smell the blood rush to her face as she blushed, apparently thinking of our previous encounters in the bed…and the couch…and the counter…

She cleared her throat awkwardly and continued, "and I like who you are as well. I was just hoping to sort of get an idea of where we stand before I get any further into this."

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while trying to gather my thoughts. It wouldn't be right to not let her know about something like the situation with Alice, but at the same time I don't know how she would react if I told her about Alice.

_Come on Bella, time to man up._

I shifted around nervously. "That's reasonable, but you need to know something about me before I even answer that question. It's not fair for you not to know."

She looked at me expectantly. "Okay, and…?"

I gulped down a breath of air. "I'm in love with someone else but she hurt me very badly. Now I'm trying to get over her because I've become quite fond of you."

I dared a peek at her from under my eyelashes. She looked slightly surprised, but no extreme emotion was displayed on her features.

"Well, I can't say I didn't know something was bothering you but I didn't know that it would be something like this..." She said thoughtfully. "How long have you been in love with her?"

I looked at her sheepishly. "About 10 years."

Her eyes bugged out of her head for a moment before she took what I assume was a calming breath. "10 years? And you expect to just get over her," she snapped her fingers, "like that because you have feelings for me and because she hurt you?"

I tried to shrug in a non-committal way. "Yeah. There's a lot more to it then that but that's the gist of it."

Her shoulders slumped a bit. She looked tired; I wondered if maybe we should cancel our date.

"This, us… I don't know if we should keep it going, Bella. You obviously have feelings for someone else. Who knows how things are going to go between you two? You said yourself that you're still in love with her. Does she feel the same way?"

I nodded.

"So, what? How are you two then? You said she hurt you something awful, but you didn't say what happened after that. Your accent tells me you're from the States but honestly I barely know you. I'm starting to develop feelings for someone I hardly know and it's scary to find out that you're still in love with someone else."

I sighed. She had a right to be scared and curious but it wouldn't make the re-telling of my story any easier. I would have to edit parts of it to make it appear like the events were more recent.

"Okay, you want to know the story? I'll give you the Cliff Notes version." I observed my fingernails in an attempt to give myself time to get my thoughts together.

"In high school I started dating this guy. His parents adopted all of his siblings, including him. I got really close to his one sister and fell in love with her while I was dating him. She was dating a guy though so I never pushed anything. I couldn't handle hurting my boyfriend anymore so I told him I was in love with someone else. We split and I left town after graduating to forget about her and only ever visit home during the holidays."

I inhaled a breath to calm my nerves and to give Liz a moment to take that much in.

"So that's it, then? You just up and left town and here you are?" She said suspiciously.

I held back another sigh. Part of me wanted to give her just that as the story and nothing else, but I couldn't lie any more than I had to.

"No. Before I left, my…niece blackmailed me into telling her how I feel. She didn't say anything; she just sat there staring at me. Her own boyfriend had just dumped her, and she was devastated. So I left after I told her I'm in love with her and here I am."

She gave me _that_ look. I withheld the urge to growl at her stubbornness.

"She followed me here, okay? She came to my apartment, told me that the reason her boyfriend broke things off was because he figured out that she had feelings for me and that she wanted to apologize for hurting me so badly."

Her face remained impassive. "I see," she said. Her breathing had quickened but there were no other indicators to give me a hint of what she's thinking.

_Oh, if only Edward were here…_

Liz let out a breath slowly and deliberately, almost as if she was hesitant of what she was going to say. "That's a lot to take in."

"I know, but can you at least hold off on the thinking until after tonight? I'd still like to go out if that's all right with you…"

She looked over at me then, her eyes shining with uncertainty. I must have looked desperate because she gave me a pitying look before softly agreeing. I grabbed my coat, purse, and phone before escorting her out of my apartment.

I opened her car door for her before walking around and getting in on my side. I waited for us to be moving before stealing a glance at Liz's face. She had that uncertain look back but it seemed as if she was trying to cover it up with confident indifference.

When we arrived at the theatre I was unsure of how to act. I knew Liz wasn't certain of what she wanted so I was left with the questions mulling in my head of, _should I hold her hand? Should I kiss her? Would she be okay with me putting my hand on her leg in the movie?_

I let her choose the movie and then paid for our tickets. I gently tugged on her arm and softly asked if she'd like anything from the concession stand. When she replied in the negative, I escorted her to a couple of seats in the lower area of the specified theatre. An awkward silence passed between us as the previews started.

I was still unsure how to act. I boldly put my hand on her thigh, the stark contrast of her heated flesh to my cool hand causing a welcomed distraction from the silence between us. I calmly inhaled when she didn't flinch or brush my hand away, and that was when I could smell it.

That scent…

My thoughts instantly began flitting through my head a mile a minute. What was _she_ doing here?!

I managed to remain calm during the entire movie instead of panicking, which is what my body so desperately wanted to do. Liz seemed to relax into my embrace as the movie continued and I was thankful for the soft hand that rested on mine. Every so often she would rub the skin on top of my hand with the pad of her thumb.

Even with the gentle reassurance of that hand on mine, my thoughts still managed to find their way to the woman giving off that irresistible scent scant rows behind us. I could practically feel her eyes on us the entire time but stubbornly refused to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her presence.

When the movie ended, I suggested we extend the evening to include a round of drinks at the local bar. Liz agreed, once again uncertainly, and we began driving toward the place in question. The drive was silent but for the radio that was playing in the background. Neither of us attempted to force conversation when it would obviously round back to the same topic as earlier. Liz pulled into the parking lot and together we strode towards the bar entrance.

I paid for our entrance and directed Liz towards the bar to order her a drink. She raised her eyebrow when I only ordered one Sex On The Beach. Inwardly I cringed. So this is how tonight is going to go. I reluctantly ordered a second one and paid for both drinks while she sat down and nursed the liquid in her glass. I sat down next to her while my body relaxed; this was my element.

The darkness of the bar, the loud thumping of the music, the way the women gyrated together in symphony to the beat of the song playing…this was where I was most comfortable these days. It was in holes in the wall that I could forget for a while who I was. In here I was not the Bella that was hopelessly in love with Alice. I was just a woman looking for a temporary good time. In here I was just…Bella.

My eyes remained on my drink as I took in the aura around my date. She was still tense but after downing half her drink she was slowly loosening up. I smelled that distinct scent again walk into the bar and immediately tensed.

_What the hell?! Why is she following me?_ My insides were fuming. Alice had just told me mere hours ago that she would be okay with just being friends and starting over, and now she was practically stalking me? I clamped down on an animalistic growl that threatened to erupt from my chest.

I refocused all of my attention on the redhead to my left and opted for trying to engage her in conversation about the movie in an attempt to not make a scene. Eventually there was a lull in our conversation, whereupon Liz noticed my untouched drink.

"Aren't you going to drink that?" She asked curiously.

I retained my outer calm while my mind panicked. "Um, sure…" I twirled the glass in my hand slowly, trying to find an excuse to not drink the colored liquor.

She waited patiently while she eyed me purposefully. "Well?"

I gulped out of anxiety. God, there really was no way around this, was there? Gathering up all the courage I possessed at the moment, I brought the glass to my lips and downed the drink. The horrible taste made my mouth scrunch up in revulsion. Almost immediately my stomach lurched, threatening to spill its contents all over my lap. I barely contained the gag reflex and instead tried to name as many characters from Othello as I could to distract my gut.

_Iago, Roderigo, Othello, Michael Cassio,…_

The lurching didn't stop, but I was at least able to keep myself together for the moment. I forced a smile on my face for Liz's sake. She asked me to dance and I politely agreed. We made it to the dance floor and I had managed to sway through half of the before the lurching began increased twofold. I doubled over in pain.

In some recess of my mind I could hear Liz frantically asking me what was wrong, but before I could gasp out a reply strong, insistent hands were on my forearms and directing me to some unknown destination. I groaned in pain when the hands firmly pushed me through a doorway and I could smell from the strong smell of sex, vomit, and bleach that we were in the bathroom.

The stranger's hands led me to an open stall and practically pushed my head into the toilet just as I heaved up the contents of my stomach. I could do nothing but be sick continuously until my stomach was empty. When I had rid my body of that horrid drink, I shrank down to the floor to sit for a moment to catch my breath. The person with me sat down as well. As I was recuperating the scent of the being next to me assaulted my senses and knocked into me so quickly that I felt like I had been punched in the head.

Alice was sitting next to me.

I groaned with despair. First she followed me around like a stalker, and just now she helped me while I desperately tried to pretend to be human for my mortal girlfriend. It almost didn't make sense…almost.

_You know if the roles were reversed you wouldn't be able to stay away._

Yes, yes I would be able to resist following her. I did it for years.

_But when you were staying away from her, you knew it was completely one-sided. She wasn't going to leave Jasper for you. But with you she knows there's at least a chance of things ending with Liz and her getting an opportunity._

I had to reluctantly agree with my conscience. If roles were reversed I wouldn't be able to stay away from her, either. But still…it was a little weird.

Bella was sitting cross-legged on the floor with her head in her hands. She was still trying to calm her body from the heaving moments ago.

"What are you doing here, Alice?" Bella said wearily, her body still not quite feeling top-shape from the heaving.

Golden eyes looked down shamefully as the pixie-like vampire wrung her hands together. "I couldn't stay away. When I got the vision of you drinking that alcohol, I knew you would probably get mad at me later but I just had to know you would be okay. I'm sorry."

Bella lifted her head to see her raven-haired love in distress over the topic. Her heart and arms ached to hold her but she refrained. It would not do her well to hold onto the one person who had hurt her so badly. She settled on holding a half-hearted glare toward the woman.

The glare only stayed on her face for a few seconds before a deep pity hit Bella with sudden force. She supposed that Alice was feeling the same hopelessness that she herself had felt during those dark years of hiding her feelings. Even the thought of those dark times within herself made Bella shudder.

The brunette stood on shaky legs, the shorter vampire immediately following and holding out a hand to catch the taller woman should she fall. When Bella walked out of the bathroom stall she made her way over to the sinks. Her mouth still tasted of bile so she turned one of the faucets on, cupped a hand under the stream and brought some water to her mouth. After swishing it around for a few seconds she spit it out and dried her face off with a paper towel. She attempted to keep her eyes off of Alice in the mirror as she checked to see that her outfit wasn't dirty.

While Bella cleaned herself up, Alice openly stared at the woman in front of her. She ogled curvaceous hips, the way soft shoulders dipped into a perfectly framed bust, and then down to legs that seemed to last a mile before ending at perfect feet. The sight of the woman in front of her was just… "beautiful." She breathed out softly.

Bella turned around sharply to face the shorter woman. "What did you say?" She said dubiously.

The pixie-like woman held her ground, unafraid of the taller woman's change of mood. "You're beautiful Bella. I've always thought so, even before you were turned."

Alice took a very deliberate step towards the other woman while the brunette in question seemed rooted in place. She closed the distance between them, placing a hand on each cheek of the taller woman. Golden eyes looked up into darkening honey. Their bodies were pushed against one another in such a way that Alice couldn't stop the soft moan that fell from her lips.

That was it. Alice being pushed up against her in all the right places had Bella's body in overdrive, but it was that moan that finally broke her resolve. When Alice moaned into her ear like the sex kitten Bella was sure that she was, Bella broke. The steadfastness she held onto inside to keep Alice at arm's distance tore in two and she threw caution to the wind. In a moment that seemed to last days, the two locked eyes and leaned in.

Sparks. That's what Alice felt when their lips met in what at first was a soft kiss. Her every nerve ending sparked as if brought back to life by the connection she had to Bella in this one moment. The pixie's hands moved to Bella's shoulders to pull her in closer, as close as she could bring her.

From the first touch Alice tried to convey to Bella that the brunette was in charge in her own way of soft lips moving lightly against their partner's. It was just enough to entice Bella to her, to let her know that she could stop them at any time.

Everywhere Alice touched her felt like her body was on fire. When the shorter woman pulled her in close enough for Bella to feel her hardened nipples between their layers of clothing her mind turned to putty. The kiss that they were sharing was nothing compared to what Bella imagined Alice's bud felt like in her mouth. It was better than the kiss they had shared in her apartment simply for the fact that she already knew the basic rhythm of Alice's mouth against hers.

It did surprise her, though, when Alice pulled away far enough so that their lips were no longer linked. Their eyes then locked in an age old battle of conflicted lovers. Alice was leaving the encounter in Bella's hands and now it was Bella's turn to either reciprocate or back away. The shorter vampire purposely held back from looking into the future for fear of seeing disappointment.

Bella understood what Alice was silently asking her. Did she want to continue, knowing that Liz was somewhere just outside the bathroom door? Did she want to feed the fire that Alice had ignited in her yet again?

The answer was always and forever yes.

Bella pulled the pixie in closer for a bone crushing kiss that made Alice see stars behind her closed eyelids and a moan escape when Bella swept her tongue along her lower lip asking for entrance. When Alice opened her mouth to her partner, Bella's tongue began a gentle exploration of the raven-haired woman's palette. Her tongue brushed against Alice's already sensitive teeth and she hissed in pleasure at the feeling.

As Alice audibly made her satisfaction known, Bella switched their positions and hoisted the tiny woman easily to the top of the sinks behind her while keeping her hands on her hips. Alice immediately wrapped her legs around Bella's waist in an effort to bring more friction, any friction, to her heated center.

Bella moaned at the subtle thrusting Alice was doing pressed up against her in such a fashion and ground her hips back into the shorter woman's pelvis. She kissed her way from Alice's lips down her partner's cheek to her collarbone, where she began sucking at the skin and grazing it with her teeth. Both women were so caught up in the moment that neither one heard the door creak open nor the halted footsteps of a person who had obviously entered the bathroom.

"What in the FUCK is going on?"

Bella tore her head away from Alice's collarbone in such a quick motion that Liz had to blink to believe she actually saw it happen.

The redheaded human looked at that moment very much like a fuming Rosalie, with her hair accenting her heated skin and raptor gaze directed directly at the brunette in the room.

Alice, now thoroughly sobered from the previous events, looked at the guilt-stricken Bella and back to the enraged girlfriend Liz and could only come up with one thought in her head.

_Shit…_


	8. Queen Says It All

Hello all - sorry for the long wait. Just couldn't get into writing this lately. I'll work on being quicker on the updates though. As always, Flinstone is awesome.

**Disclaimer**: All things Twilight belong to the infamous Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks,

NeedForChange22

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Elizabeth was furious. No, scratch that, she was _livid_. The only thing keeping the red head from storming over and peeling _her_ lover away from this short pixie was the look in Bella's eyes. The pure affection that passed through the brunette's gaze when she glanced at the raven-haired woman before looking back towards her was the only thing strong enough to pause Liz's movements. This had to be the girl, that woman that broke Bella's heart.

So what was Bella doing practically fucking this woman in the bathroom? And what was that whole scene about when Bella looked like she was going to be sick?

"Bella, seriously. What in the bloody hell is going on?" Liz said hotly, her body rigid in its position near the entrance to the restroom.

The brunette in question looked her way and Liz was struck at what heartfelt guilt was plainly written on her features. Some of the red-head's anger dissipated and she relaxed a little in her stance.

"I got sick from that Sex on the Beach. It must've had glucose in part of the recipe."

Eyes squinted in a stare down at the brunette. "Okay, that answers one of my questions but it doesn't answer the one that has you and whoever the hell _she_ is nearly screwing while you're on a date with _me_."

Bella emitted a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. "Um, yeah about that…Alice, this is Liz. Liz, meet Alice."

Liz scrutinized the short woman with eagle eyes. "Is she…you know?"

Bella's nervousness was even more apparent as she looked hesitantly towards the shorter woman still sitting on the sink counter. Liz had to strain to hear the yes Bella whispered.

Well, it's not like the red head hadn't anticipated something happening, even if it wasn't this exact scenario. However, she hadn't expected it to happen this soon.

While she had grown terribly fond of the brunette Liz hadn't been so careless as to throw herself entirely into the relationship. She knew from the beginning that something was holding Bella back and she supposed that at least was something positive amongst this whole situation.

The human sighed loudly, suddenly feeling very tired. Her shoulders slackened. She gazed at the floor while she pondered what to do.

It was obvious that both women in front of her were still attracted to each other. There was, however, no definite guarantee that the shorter woman wouldn't break her short-time lover's heart again. Liz respected Bella far too much for her to just lie down without asking the hard questions of the pixie-like woman. For Bella's sake, she would back off if she got the right answers.

Liz brought her eyes up to meet pools of gold framed by pitch black, spiky hair. They were almost mirror images of Bella's, which was weird. Liz shook her head; it wasn't the time to question the oddity of the pair's eye color. The short, almost pixie-like woman's eyes went blank for just a split second, and then she refocused her gaze on Liz, determination taking over. Hm, that was weird.

Gathering up her strength, Liz cleared her throat before speaking. "You're the one, right? The one she's been in love with for half her life?"

"Yes." Alice answered slowly.

"And now you've realized that you're in love with her too?"

"Yes." The short woman's voice was strong, sure of herself.

"So you, what, followed her here to try and win her back?"

Liz received another affirmative. She looked at Bella for a moment, and then went back to staring down the other woman.

"We may not have known each other long, Bella; but I'll be damned if this woman breaks your heart again." The red head's eyes never left Alice. This wasn't really a message for Bella, but a threat for the other woman.

Alice was almost surprised at the human's sincerity. It seemed that even after only knowing Bella for a short time the brunette had already wormed her way into this woman's heart. Then again, Bella had always had that sort of charm even before being turned. Alice allowed herself a small smile at Bella's subtle talent of luring people in with her charisma that had nothing to do with her being a vampire.

Then she noticed the glare still being sent her way. The smile vanished almost instantaneously. This woman wasn't playing around, and from the look on her face it would be beneficial to Alice to answer quickly.

"While you hardly know her, I'll ease your mind and let it be known that I have no intention of hurting Bella again." The raven-haired woman cast her eyes downward, misery suddenly overwhelming her.

"Hey, don't worry about that now. That was in the past, remember? We said we'd start over; a clean slate. Are you going back on your end of the deal?"

Alice slowly shook her head, still not fully convinced. Bella gently tugged on the woman's face with the hand cupping her cheek so that they were eye to eye.

"As long as we're both in this together I won't stand for any Negative Nancy's. Got it?" Alice chuckled softly and nodded while wrapping her arms around Bella in a fierce hug.

Seeing that her date for the evening was in good hands, Liz quietly excused herself and went back to the bar in hopes of still salvaging the night.

Alice and Bella embraced for a few minutes longer until someone else walked into the bathroom, saw their position, and drunkenly stumbled into an available stall. They pulled away slightly, Bella moving her hands to Alice's petite hips while the shorter woman put her hands around Bella's neck.

"Well, Ms. Cullen? What do you want to do for the remainder of the night?" Alice asked her partner.

Without missing a beat, Bella replied in a mock serious tone. "Actually, I was hoping that I could get in some quality terrorizing time tonight. You know the usual, bats, blood-dripping-from-fangs, swooping down from building rooftops wearing a ridiculous cape, the whole routine."

At this statement Bella began moving herself and Alice out of the bathroom and towards the exit.

Alice's melodious laughter drowned out the sound of the human using the restroom yards from them. "Okay, as long as I can sleep in a coffin tonight."

Bella couldn't keep the façade going any longer, and a smile graced her features. Once they were out of the club the shorter woman hailed a cab. She instructed the cabbie to just drive around for a little while so they could decide what to do.

"Seriously though, I just bought a CD player and was hoping to spend the night listening to the remnants of good music from the 2000's."

Alice scoffed. "What good music? All I remember from that era was all the horrible rap vomiting out from the radios being labeled as the 'music for the century'."

The brunette laughed uncontrollably before managing to settle herself down. "There were some good artists, you have to admit. Maybe not a lot of them, but there were a good handful. Besides, you have to remember that not everyone heard Louis Armstrong and Elvis play live, you know."

Alice sighed wistfully. "Ah, those were the days, weren't they?"

Bella's eyes twinkled in mirth seeing her lover reminisce. "I wouldn't know. Or did you just suddenly experience amnesia and forget I was born in the 80's?"

The shorter woman let out a small chuckle. "Point taken. So, back to your place then?" The brunette next to her nodded and gave the cabbie her address.

Upon arriving, Bella kicked off her shoes and hung her coat over the sofa's armrest. Alice followed suit and set to making herself comfortable on the sofa. Bella then moved toward the CD player and put on one of her favorite albums. A mid-tempo guitar and drum intro was followed by the smooth voice of Freddie Mercury. Bella sighed in contentment and walked across the room and gracefully fell into the couch, her feet landing on the coffee table in front of her sofa.

Alice gave a small smile at seeing the happiness on Bella's face. "Any particular reason for choosing this album? I thought you were in the mood for some 2000's music?"

Bella shrugged. "I was but then I started to think that maybe some Queen would be good and the store only had their greatest hits album."

A frown of confusion crossed the pixie's features. "I thought you had all their CD's?"

"Yeah, but I left my collection at Ren's. The poor girl was born in the 2000's for God's sake, Alice!" The raven-haired girl chuckled at the brunette sitting next to her. She did remember that decade, and it was not pretty. Unless you counted meeting Bella, and then it was the most wonderful decade she had experienced.

Bella continued her speech through Alice's laughter.

"Edward and I have been trying to assimilate her to older music since she was born but she still has a long way to go. We make her go through a decade's worth of music every 7 years or so. She's finally into the late 70's, early 80's. It's my goal to have her and the children musically intellectual by the new century."

After Alice had finally calmed down, she nodded seriously at Bella. "Yes, I could see how that would be detrimental to your daughter's life."

The brunette squinted at her, trying to get a read on whether or not the shorter woman was being serious. The barest hint of a muscle twitch gave her the hint. "You're lying. You think I'm being ridiculous." She said accusingly.

The older vampire looked mock-outraged. "Me? Lie? Whatever would make you think innocent ol' me would ever lie?"

Bella became tense and her eyes turned stormy. The happy atmosphere was suddenly drowned in angst, which Alice was quick to pick up on. The brunette seemed determined not to talk about it, though, for she then attempted to continue their playful banter. "Yeah, exactly… 'Little' old you… Most people do mistake fairies for honest people."

Alice's dead heart ached at seeing the torment Bella was obviously going through. Even though they had both agreed to start fresh, it was going to be tough. When she reached out her hand to cover the other woman's own, Bella shifted away as if burned. "Please, don't." The brunette said in a whisper.

"Okay," the raven-haired woman agreed just as quietly as she withdrew her hand. She felt helpless for not being able to aid the woman she was in love with especially since it was her own fault that the brunette was experiencing this heartache.

Bella took one look at her counterpart's downturned face and sighed. She was so sick of being sad all the time.

"I'm sorry. I know I was the one to suggest we start off like new, but it seems that even though I'm ready to rip your clothes off I can't keep myself together emotionally around you."

Alice looked up into golden orbs. "Well, what do you say we go slow? Is there any harm in that? We can act like a couple of kids; go out on dates to the movies and the like."

"Really?" Bella asked in a small voice. "You'd do that for me?"

The shorter woman gave Bella an ear-to-ear smile. "Of course, silly. I didn't just fly halfway around the world for an interrupted quickie in a bar bathroom. I _love_ you Bella, and I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you."

The woman in question would have surely blushed had she still been able to. Instead she looked on shyly, all confidence lost in the midst of the declaration, at the woman next to her. "Okay."

Alice's smile continued. "Great. Now that we have that settled, is it okay if I stay for a while? I'm not quite ready to leave yet." Bella nodded in reply.

The two sat in comfortable silence listening to Freddie Mercury's voice carry away the remaining tension in the room.


	9. Not a Sanctuary

**Wow. In the past three months I've: worked full time, took a vacation down south to look at colleges to transfer to, fell for someone on accident, fell in love with a state and its culture, started fall classes again, had to bury all of my emotions, taken my nieces and nephews fishing a few times, read 8 books, got tan, fought with one of my best friends, found God again, and am in the process of getting rid of people who are negative influences on me. Talk about a whirlwind of a summer. But e****nough about me. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything. This is why she is rich and I am just a poor college student struggling to find ways to send myself away from here.**

**-NeedForChange22**

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Bella sighed for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. It was sunny out for the first time in weeks so she was forced to remain indoors until it clouded over again. She had readied herself to go out, poised at the drop of a hat to get out of the apartment. These were the times when she wished that she had Alice's ability to be able to predict just how long she'd have to be bored before being able to go outside.

Alice.

Bella sighed again.

It had been nearly a month since the night that they had shared listening to Queen and enjoying each other's presence. Alice had called a couple of times to keep in touch but she wasn't pressing for contact, which Bella was more than grateful for. And yet there was always that little voice in her head that whispered words of uncertainty to her. Every fear she had about the raven-haired pixie was on repeat in her mind when she wasn't keeping herself occupied.

Her throat was beginning to get that familiar burn. It had been almost two weeks since her last hunt. She surmised it was about time to do so again.

It was during this inner reflection that Bella noticed the living room darkening. Hurriedly she went to the window and pulled the curtains aside to reveal a sliver of opening to see the darkening landscape with promise of rainclouds.

Had she been younger she would have pumped her fist in the air and yelled in excitement. Now that she was older all Bella did was grab her keys, the pack of batteries she had bought earlier in the day, her iPod, and darted out the door at a human's sprint.

_Thank the powers that be_, she thought in relief. _If I had to sit in that apartment for a minute longer I was going to have to start reciting Thomas Aquinas from memory to pass the time._

She slowed down to a jog to keep the suspicious looks away. It wouldn't do well if someone got suspicious of her and followed her to where she was going.

Once she reached the outer city limits she took a glance down the barren road to make sure that she wasn't going to be seen and then she took off.

The forest she arrived at on her first hunting trip was sort of a second home to Bella after the whole debacle with Liz. On her second hunting trip into the forest she had brought along some basic tools and set up a small shack of sorts to hold some knickknacks to make her outings better.

As the shack made its way into her view Bella's excitement grew. She tore the packaging off of the batteries and slid them into their appropriate space in the machine. She plugged her iPod into the auxiliary jack, turned the power on, and pressed 'Play'.

_Scheherazade _began playing loudly, its strong introduction vibrating between the trees and bouncing off the leaves. Bella sighed again, only this time in contentment. It felt so good to be able to just exist out here; no eyes were watching her, no voices could comment about her cold skin. Here there were only the sounds of the forest living and of whatever music she happened to bring that day, if any.

Her throat was beginning to burn more intensely. She ignored it for the time being. There were no humans around so she was safe to indulge for a little while.

After making sure that her effects were securely hidden from the impending rain, Bella walked a ways away from the shack and lied down on the ground, her back touching the cool earth. She closed her eyes and gave herself entirely to her senses. She could smell the dirt beneath her, feel the wind moving every which way in its indecision, and hear the sounds of the nearby animals moving leisurely. It was such an awesome feeling of being connected to this cycle of life. She let herself lie in that position while the album repeated itself a few times on her iPod.

It began to rain then and Bella breathed in the smell of it deeply. She always loved the rain; she loved the way it washed over everything, gave it new life, and let things start over.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the sound of light footsteps coming toward her until the individual was half a mile away. She bolted upright and her body naturally took on a defensive position, her torso curling in on itself to a crouch.

She waited for the wind to change in her favor and sniffed. The scent that caught her attention shocked her to the point that her jaw slackened. She immediately rose from her stance and stood at full attention.

"What are you doing here?" She said aloud knowing he would hear her.

The man continued walking without answering until he was directly in front of her.

"Hello to you too, Bella." Edward said serenely, a small smile brightening his features.

She nearly huffed in exasperation. "I'll repeat myself since you seem to be hard of hearing today. What are you doing here?"

His eyes swirled in a violent haze but his facial expression remained neutral. "I guess we're skipping the pleasantries."

She just gritted her teeth and ground out her reply. "Forgive me if I'm not exactly welcoming when you invade on my personal time and consequently, my hunting time."

His eyes finally took the time to glance at his surroundings; at the small shack a few feet away that was still blaring classical music.

"I apologize. I hadn't realized that you were out here hunting. When I heard the music I had figured that you were simply enjoying the outdoors and thought it safe to come near."

She had to control the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, okay. Why are you out here then?"

He began shifting forward and she nearly growled at him out of instinct. Instead she forced her mouth shut and swallowed the growl forming in her throat. It was then that she noticed he was moving to sit on the ground. He gestured for her to take a seat as well and she reluctantly complied.

"I truly am sorry for stopping by unexpectedly."

She waved her hand at him dismissively. "Its fine, Edward. I am really curious as to why you're here since you have yet to directly answer the question."

"How have you been?" He asked suddenly, purposely ignoring her question again.

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Fine. Getting settled into my place still but fine overall. Why?"

"I'm your husband, Bella. I think I'm allowed to ask how you are since you haven't contacted me in months."

_Maybe there was a point for that,_ she thought. "Ex. Ex-husband, Edward. We aren't together anymore."

He looked away from her. "Things change. You never know when a good conversation could make things different."

"I do know, actually. I like _women_ Edward. No amount of talking will change that. "

"You didn't used to like women. You used to like me. You used to love me. What happened?"

This time it was she who looked away. "We've already discussed this. I'm not having this conversation with you again."

He sighed, his smooth voice shuddering at the end. Had Bella still been questioning her sexuality that broken exhale would have squeezed her heart and made her wrap her arms around him in comfort. Now she just remained still, unsure of what to do.

"I suppose it wouldn't do any good to ask if there's anyone in your life simply trying to be a friend, then?"

Suddenly Bella was panicking. If he already knew she and Alice were…whatever they were at this point…and she lied then he would know and be angry. Making a swift decision she said, "Yes, actually there is."

"Okay… Are you going to tell me about her? Is she from around here?" He seemed dubious due to the lack of conviction in her voice.

She mumbled her reply so softly that even Edward couldn't pick it up. "I'm sorry what was that?"

"It's Alice." She said quietly.

Silence washed over the two and all that could be heard was the classical music playing dramatically in the background. Bella had half a mind to go shut it off if she weren't tense about what her ex-lover's reaction would be to that piece of news.

His face was void of emotion but she once spent hours memorizing his facial expressions. She was waiting for something, anything to tell her how he was handling her admission.

She waited, panic overtaking her normally cool demeanor.

There it was; a tick in his left eye muscle. He was angry.

"Alice." He said, barely constrained malice inadvertently weaving its way into his speech.

"It was Alice? This entire time you've been pining over my SISTER?"

She didn't acknowledge him but he didn't need her to. Violently Edward's body lurched vertically as he stood up. He began pacing heatedly.

"Were you always in love with my sister? Did you ruin her and Jasper's marriage? It was your fault, wasn't it?" Now he was walking at her accusingly. She stood quickly and held her ground.

"Yes, but I didn't realize it until we came back from our marriage counseling. And no, they had their own problems that broke them up. Edward, you need to calm down."

"CALM DOWN. You want me to calm down when I just found out the love of my life left me for women, and ultimately my own sister? Are you two, you know? Together?" He said the last word in disgust and Bella bristled at his tone.

"Yes we're trying but it's none of your business." Her uncertainty didn't go unnoticed and he took the opportunity he was presented with.

"Trying, huh? Alice just can't satisfy you then?" He said smugly.

She did roll her eyes this time. "Yet again none of your business, but I'll tell you she does more for me than any other person I've been with and we haven't had sex yet."

His eyes widened in shock at the not-so-subtle insult. He recovered quickly and was on the offensive again. "So what is then?"

"I told you it's none of your damn business. It's between Alice and I, and last time I checked your name isn't Alice."

He could read her even without his power, though, and that was what he was doing now. He studied her face for a moment and she broke the uncomfortable staring contest.

"You're scared. I can see it. You're terrified. Of what, I wonder?" He seemed to be honestly contemplating the options. She nervously went to the stereo that was still belting out music from her iPod on the dock and turned it off.

"Are you scared of getting hurt or of being the one doing the hurting?" He said almost to himself but her head whipped around at him with such speed at the former part that he knew he had his answer…and laughed.

"You're actually scared of getting hurt? What about those you hurt? What about me?" Before Bella could even respond he continued on. "Never mind that. Let's focus on you."

"You should be scared. Alice has a hard time holding onto things, what with her abandonment issues and all from her human life." He said casually. "Every time she befriended someone we met along our journeys she always cut off ties with them sporadically. She could never hold anything but Jasper down, and we all know how that ended."

Bella was shaking her head as if to rid herself of what she was hearing. Every fear she had ever had about her relationship with the pixie was being broadcasted to her right now in the middle of her sanctuary.

She brought her finger and thumb to massage her temples. "Shut up Edward. Get the hell out of here. You're not welcome here anymore."

He looked at her forlornly. "Don't say I didn't warn you. You're going to get hurt and it's going to be excruciatingly painful." His eyes finished the statement that he didn't want to say. _…like you did to me._

The hand at her side balled into a fist. If he didn't leave soon she was going to do something she would regret. Her insecurities were getting the best of her and she needed to get out of here.

"Last chance to walk away Edward." Her voice wasn't as steady as she wished it would be.

"Fine." He said curtly and turned to leave. "It was nice chatting with you Bella, as always."

His footsteps echoed off of the trees. She stood in place for a moment before grabbing her keys from the shack and heading home. She knew what had to be done. It was purely an act of self-preservation.

The sprint home was quick until she reached the city, whereupon she had to slow down. The second she was in her door she found her cell phone and dialed Alice's number.

It didn't even ring twice before the angel on the other end picked up.

The object of her affection didn't even greet her before beginning to talk.

"Don't do this Bella…" Alice pleaded. Her voice was wavering with the emotion behind it.

"I-I can't, Alice. I'm sorry. I just can't do this." Her heart was breaking but she knew that this was for the best. There was no way that Alice could reciprocate her feelings. Bella knew she couldn't feel those things to the depth that she was herself. It was best to just cut all ties with her now rather than get even further involved.

"Bella, you're making a mistake. Please just hear me out."

"I can't, Alice. He was right, I wouldn't be able to handle the pain that will eventually come."

Alice already knew whom Bella was talking about but had to ask it anyway.

"Who? Who was right?"

Bella's voice dropped lower. "Edward."

Alice's anxiety at losing her lover had been pushed to the wayside and anger had filled her to the brim at his name being spoken aloud.

When Alice didn't say anything Bella continued. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I hope you'll forgive me one day. Goodbye."

Alice was seething, positively radiating fury. She was going to find Edward.

And when she found him?

She was going to rip him to pieces. Slowly.

Then she was going to convince Bella that they were destined to be together, no matter what it took.


	10. The Edward Problem

Hello all,

I was just going to upload all the final chapters at once and merge them but since some of you have expressed a vehement interest in some sort of update here it is. It's VERY short, but no matter how hard I try I can't lengthen it out any further. This is un-beta'd because I don't feel like bothering the lovely suspenceme.

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer is a rich lady and owns all of this.

**-NeedForChange22**

* * *

Alice was sprinting through the forest at an inhuman speed, her eyes never leaving the shadow running ahead of her at an equally fast pace. The being was slightly faster than her, which meant she had to rely on her visions to predict the movements the individual made. Every time she seemed to catch up to him somehow he was able to move just out of her reach. It was as if he could read her mind.

"Of course I can, Alice," the voice whispered into the wind replying to her thought. "I've always been able to."

The anger that she thought she had bottled up was now released in full fury. She was even more determined to catch him and rip off every appendage he had before burning them to ash.

She had been chasing him too damn long.

She screamed in frustration. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD, EDWARD!"

He laughed, a bittersweet melody that echoed throughout the forest over his light footsteps.

"I wish I could dear sister."

She was assaulted with a vision in the midst of running but didn't want to stop for fear of losing him.

_She was standing across from him, in '_their_' meadow. They were talking about the events at hand but she could feel herself fighting not to tear his throat out like the common beast he was._

"That's not nice Alice." Edward said as he ran in the exact direction toward the meadow.

She growled then, a low primal warning to him that if he kept it up she wouldn't even fake the civilities shown in the vision. She had been chasing him for far too long.

No. This was going to end now. Today.

They came up to the clearing and she saw him dart off to the opposite end. Rather than try to catch him she placed herself exactly in the spot that she saw in her vision, knowing that he was no doubt doing the same.

When he appeared in her vision, for not even a second it seemed as if he were nothing but a common nomad like James and Laurent. His clothes were tattered and dirty, his once perfectly kept hair in disarray with twigs visibly sticking out at points. His eyes shone a brilliant red color in the overcast. She couldn't help but smirk; at least in her own anguish she had been strong enough to keep her beast at bay.

That brought a scowl onto her late brother's face. "Not all of us can keep ourselves together like perfect little Alice. Some of us have lost everything."

The statement brought on a scowl of her own and a feral roar. "And you think I haven't? I've lost three of the most important people in my life, Edward. Three of my _family members_, one of whom was the love of my life."

Edward scoffed. "The love of your life? I hope you're talking about Jasper because I sure as hell know you aren't talking about my wife."

Her entire being was coiled and ready to strike. It took Alice's every bit of willpower not to lunge out and kill him right on the spot.

"EX-wife. Bella is your ex-wife, Edward. You keep forgetting that simple fact. She divorced you."

He growled in anger. "Yes, because she thought she was in love with YOU! She wanted to be with YOU instead of me!"

"How does that make me the bad guy? You were both fighting to save a ghost! She had left you years before I ever even thought about her that way!"

"Exactly! She was trying to find her way back to me but you got in the way and fucked everything up!"

She thought she would burst into flames. Surely the anger inside of her would cause her to implode.

"That's rich, Edward. You know how many women she was screwing after you two split. In case you didn't have a number, it was 64. And that was BEFORE we got involved." She spat viciously.

The comment instilled the correct reaction. His nostrils flared, his brow scrunched together. "Shut up. SHUT UP. You don't know what you're talking about."

Alice's anger took a whole new footing within. It was taking over and soon she wouldn't be able to fight it. "I do, because I made her tell me about every single one."

In the midst of his tantrum Edward's lips curled in a sinister smirk. "Yes, but she left you for them after a while didn't she?"

The anger completely dissipated in the pixie for a short moment only for agony to take its place. It was true; Bella had left her for those women. "Yes, but it was you, dear 'brother' who gave the final push she needed to fall away from me."

"All I did was remind her of your past."

"YOU PLAYED ON HER INSECURITIES, YOU BASTARD." She screamed, drops of venom flying out of her mouth. "You told her that she was better off without me because if I could leave one mate I would leave another, and that two women weren't meant to be together. She was already so fragile in our relationship and you had to go and ruin it with your self-righteous, old-fashioned bullshit."

Despite the fact that she didn't need to breathe, Alice's chest was heaving. Edward, it seemed, was faring better if the still remaining smirk on his face was any indication.

"Because it's true. Two women aren't meant to fornicate. And you've already broken Jasper's heart, did you really want to do it again to Bella?"

Alice's head dropped to her chest. "No," she said fiercely in a whisper she was sure that he would hear. "I didn't have to. You did it for me."

He faltered then for a moment and Old Edward was in front of her. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Alice. Please know that. It's just not natural. I'd held my tongue long enough. We both know you were going to hurt her, and I just couldn't have that. She may be my ex-wife but I still love her."

She blinked away the tears that would never be shed and shook her head violently from side to side. "You didn't know that! I LOVE HER, Edward! I would've fought for her, for US, for the rest of my damn life! Hell, here I am STILL fighting for it and she wants nothing to do with me!"

He looked on at her from across the meadow with sad eyes. "It needed to be said. She needed to know. It's not right."

Golden eyes blazed at the man in barely constrained fury. "It wasn't your place to say. She ended things with you and was with me. It was our relationship, not yours to stick your nose in."

Her ex-brother shrugged. "What's done is done. I don't regret any of it."

Alice's muscles tensed, ready for her to strike. She forced herself to visibly shake off the tension and started making steps toward Edward. He eyed her warily, unsure whether to take her movements as hostile or not. He remained still.

When she was in arm's distance, Alice spoke slowly and maintained eye contact. She didn't want her words misunderstood. "Listen to me closely, Edward, because I'm only going to say this once."

His eyes narrowed at her in recognition of her tone of voice.

"I want you to stay away from Bella and me. I don't want you to ever come around the house when either of us are there and I don't want you to be at Renesmee's and Jacob Black's home if we're there. I don't know that I'll be able to forgive you for what you've done. If Bella even cares and wishes to forgive you in the future, then for her sake I will be polite to you. But for the next 50 years or so, don't make your presence known in my life. At all. For the immediate, near, and foreseeable future I no longer consider you my brother. I don't even want to hear of you being on the same continent as me."

She finally looked away from his eyes and clenched her jaw as she waited for his acknowledgment of her demands. When he finally whispered an affirmative reaction to her monologue Alice stepped away from him to put more space between them.

"Goodbye Edward."

With that Alice was gone and darting through the forest. She was on her way to find Bella, again, and hopefully convince her to be with her, again.

It was her sole priority. Alice's entire being was practically vibrating with the need to be close to Bella, to touch her skin, to hear to her laughter. She had that for a short time, but then Edward took their fledgling love and ripped it away from her so entirely that it felt as if her body was in physical pain from the loss of her lover.

Now that she had dealt with the "Edward-Problem" she was going to go find Bella and get her back.


End file.
